The Boss: Your project is to build a call center to handle customer questions.
Keep the costs downy making the working conditions inhumane.
Dilbert: My conscience won't allow me to harm innocent employees.
The Boss: we won't be paying enough ti hire any innocent employees.
Dilbert: Ive been ordered to build a company call center with inhumane working conditions for the employees.
ut I don't feel guilty because Im only acting under orders and maybe they did something to deserve it.
I might need your help to demonize them.
Dogbert: Im all over it.
Designing a Call Center
Dilbert: If the employees get the svolume of calls per day they will wish they were dead.
Dilbert But they won't be dead, just too beaten down to look for better jobs.
Dilbert: I dont know how to make it any more inhumane.
The Boss: we can punish them for not being cheerful.
The Boss: So, mister rather, why should I hire you to work in my call center?
Ratbert: I thrive on the challenge of inhumane working conditions.
Watch me go without a rest room break for four hours,
The Boss: You're hired.
Headline: Congressional Hearings. A grim panel sits in front of microphones. One man says, "Your airline is accused of providing inhumane service. How do you respond?" Dogbert replies, "Sometimes I wag and sometimes I hold up my paw and say, 'Bah!'" Ratbert adds, "Bah!" Dogbert turns to the rat and says, "You're not allowed to say Bah. Take it back." Ratbert says quietly, "Hab."
Catbert: The new dress code is a thin film of oil. "We're consolidating offices and we need to fit twenty people in each cubicle."
Dilbert: "They've pretty much given up on winning one of those awards for best places to work."
Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.
