Injury Free Days Comic Strips
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418 Results for Injury Free Days
View 1 - 10 results for injury free days comic strips. Discover the best "Injury Free Days" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 18,
1996
Tags #injury free days, #very ironic, #chart injuries, #falls, #putting up sign accident
Transcript
Dilbert walks by a workman standing on a chair and nailing a sign to the wall. The sign says, "10 Injury Free Days." Dilbert hears, "Bam! Aaaeeii!! R-r-roll thud." Dilbert stands over the workman who has fallen off the chair. Dilbert says, "This is very ironic." The workman says, "No, it was ironic when it happened eleven days ago."
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Wednesday September 16,
1998
Tags #injury free work, #safety award, #incentive to avoid injuries
Transcript
The Boss holds us a plaque and says, "The safety award goes to Ted for his five years of injury-free work." Ted takes the plaque and says, "Thank you for this award. Without awards, there would be no incentive to avoid injuries." Ted turns and smiles nervously at the Boss as the Boss looks angrily at him.
Wednesday February 04,
2015
Free Will Is An Illusion
Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.
Thursday August 20,
2015
Dilbert Has Free Will
Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?
Tuesday October 20,
2015
Wally Has A Sitting Injury
Tags #injury, #sitting, #human resources, #complaint, #stress, #hurt, #health, #business
Transcript
Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.
Sunday August 14,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?
Thursday September 22,
2011
Tags #joking, #questioning, #feel free, #questions, #ghosts have clothes, #wedgie
Transcript
Boss: Are there any questions? Feel free to ask anything at all. Wally: Why do ghosts have clothes? Dilbert: If someone gives you a wedgie at the moment you die, will you have it for eternity?
Tuesday October 04,
2011
Tags #commerce, #mergers & acquisitions, #slavery is illeagal, #engineers are free, #find jobs, #better companies
Transcript
Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.
Monday November 14,
2011
Tags #biology, #chemistry, #practical jokers, #biotech field, #giving free flu shots, #stem cells, #science
Transcript
Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.
Friday November 25,
2011
Tags #retail business, #service business, #buy company's prodcut, #pulling teeth, #commissions to salary, #free from tyranny, #customer service, #less than ideal, #no paperwork
Transcript
Dilbert: I want to buy your company's product but it's like pulling teeth with you. Man: Ha ha! I switched from commissions to a guaranteed salary. I'm free from the tyranny of customer service! Dilbert: This is less than ideal. Man: No paperwork for me! Woot! Woot!