Inventing Words Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for inventing words comic strips. Discover the best "Inventing Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #incredulous ed, #inventing words, #what?!, #answers with questions, #annoying, #new hire, #dumb guy

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The Boss brings a new employee to introduce to Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet incredulous Ed." The Boss continues, "No matter what question you ask him, he'll act as if you are inventing words." Dilbert turns to Ed and asks, "Do you have a family?" Ed replies, "Do I have a WHAT??"

New Words

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New Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #new words, #racist, #sexist, #power, #master switch, #server, #shelve, #politically correct, #face mask

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catbert: it has come to our attention that many of the words we use at work are racist and often sexist. for example, we can no longer refer to the main power shut-off as a "master switch." dilbert: is that the one on the server rack? catbert: we call those "shelves" now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology

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Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #system, #data, #bits, #virtual, #array, #conflugalize, #words, #woman, #female, #employees

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Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #chief, #oppose, #obscene, #lyrics, #broadcasts, #real, #words, #italian

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A man at TBC says, "We got a complaint letter from a dog, chief." The man continues, "He claims to represent fifty million dogs who oppose the 'obscene' lyrics of our opera broadcasts." A man at a desk says, "Obscene? They don't even sing real words." The man replies, "Apparently it's Italian, sir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #scientists, #spare, #time, #inventing, #perpetual motion, #device

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says as assembles a device, "I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion device." Dilbert continues, "Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't." Dogbert asks, "A lot of spare time?" Dilbert replies, "Exactly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #light, #travels, #sound, #shout, #speak, #lips, #appear, #sync-up, #words, #knowledge, #ridiculous, #thing, #heard

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just heard that light travels faster than sound." The Boss continues, "I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words." Dilbert thinks, "A little knowledge can be a ridiculous thing." The Boss thinks, "He probably hasn't heard me yet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #committed to buy, #cost justify, #ethical, #execuitve, #translate, #vendor, #weasel, #words

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Weasel: tell me about your project and I'll translate it into weasel words for the business case. Dilbert: well, and executive had lunch with a vendor and committed to buy some stuff that doesn't work. Our job is to cost - justify the decision. Wesel: I quit Dilbert: Don't get all ethical on us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words

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"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #birds and bees, #get stung, #birds, #humming bird, #sex with birds, #words to say

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Ratbert: "Dogbert told me about the birds and the bees." "The bee part confuses me. It seems like I'd get stung." "And as for birds, I just wouldn't know the words to say." Dilbert: "Try a humming bird."