Alice: Have you seen Wally? Dilbert: He's been in the men's room for two days. He used to leave when he was done reading the paper, but he switched to an iPad and now he doesn't know when he's finished. Alice: He has to come out to eat. Pizza Guy: I have a pizza for the third stall.
Asok: I put your budget estimates into a spreadsheet as you asked. A well-fertilized shrub sprouted out of my iPad. What does this mean? Boss: That's how you know the budget is done.
dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human.
office worker on leash.
dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax.
service human: no one reads magazines anymore.
dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?
dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate?
employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you!
dilbert: how do you like working at home?
employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!
