Isn't Productive Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

387 Results for Isn't Productive

View 1 - 10 results for isn't productive comic strips. Discover the best "Isn't Productive" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle time, #isn't productive, #set priorities, #projects flounder, #big raise, #either way, #cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, may I have a word with you?" The Boss continues, "You're not spending enough time in your cubicle." The Boss continues, "It looks as if our department isn't productive." Alice responds, "But.. I can't do my job from my cubicle." The Boss replies, "You have to set priorities. Looking productive is very important to this department." Alice clenches her fists in anger. Alice exclaims, "Will I get a big raise for looking busy while my projects flounder?!" The Boss replies, "You won't get a big raise either way." The Boss continues, "Here's a blank piece of paper to carry back to your cubicle." Alice clenches her fists again and cries, "GAAA!!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #emplopyees, #empowered, #decisions, #empowerment, #concept, #productive, #fired, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #tina, #meetings, #work, #friday, #brain, #dead, #productive, #late

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, the Boss and two people sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "I don't know why we even bother holding meetings on Friday afternoons . . ." Dilbert continues, "I mean, everybody is brain-dead by now. Is this really productive?" A woman reads a document and says, "Hmm . . . Productive? . . . Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "I'm too late."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #new guy, #productive, #bureaucracy, #savants, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally asks Dilbert, "How's the new guy doing?" Dilbert replies, "He's extremely productive." Dilbert says as they watch a man at a desk wildly tossing documents over his shoulder, "We think he's one of those bureaucracy savants."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gerard depardieu, #ceo, #productive work, #overhead transparencies, #exaggerate value, #uglier coworkers, #actors

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our CEO will visit here next week. You all know what to do. Dilbert: we should stop all productive work and create overhead transparencies that exggerate our value. The Boss: and a few of our uglier coworkers will be replaced by actors. Dilbert: As long as its no Gerard Depardieu.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #change, #prehistoric times, #ancestors, #caves, #grunting, #not very productive, #all day long

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and faces Wally who is holding a cup of coffee. Dilbert says to Wally, "It's amazing how much we've changed since prehistoric times." Dilbert continues, "Our ancestors just sat around in caves, grunting and drawing on the wall." Wally comments, "Not very productive." Dilbert draws crude pictures on the blackboard in his cubicle. He tells Wally, "It was just this, all day long." Wally answers, "Mmm. Yup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality initiative, #decour, #productive hours, #lower morale, #profitability, #contest, #qualicide

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Alice and Wally, "I'm assigning each of you to a separate 'quality' initiative." Wally asks, "Is there any risk this will devour our productive hours, lower our morale and have no impact on our profitability?" The Boss says, "And we'll have a contest to come up with a name for the overall initiative." Wally asks, "How about 'Qualicide?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mob, #stupid people, #attack dogbert, #drink hose water, #isn't working, #grass, #attack, #ruin our lawn, #spraying water, #hose fight

View Transcript

Transcript

CAption: A mob of stupid people attack Dogbert's house. One in-duh-vidual says, "Our plan to drink all of his hose water isn't working." Another in-duh-vidual has a garden hose in his mouth and looks as if he is about to burst. The first in-duh-vidual says, "Hey, careful! You're getting water all over the grass..." Another person says, "Wait, that gives me an idea!" Dilbert reads the newspaper. "How's the attack going?" Dogbert replies, "They tried to ruin our lawn by spraying water on it. But now it's turned into a hose fight."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judy, #missing days, #judy isn't here, #morale is higher, #coughing, #certificate

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is standing drawing his arm in the direction of Judy, who is standing beside him. The boss says, "The attendance award goes to Judy for missing the most days." As the employees sit and applaud, the boss says, "I think we all agree that morale is higher when Judy isn't here." The boss hands Judy a certificate and says, "We took turns coughing on the certificate."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #waiting, #stock isn't vested, #over flow, #limbo, #hell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks to himself in front of his computer terminal: "I can't do anything because I'm always waiting for someone else." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, appears and says to Dilbert: "And you can't quit because your stock isn't vested." Dilbert asks Phil: "Am I in Heck?" The latter replies: "No. I'm just working the overflow from limbo."