Jello Bed Comic Strips
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87 Results for Jello Bed
View 1 - 10 results for jello bed comic strips. Discover the best "Jello Bed" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 13,
1995
Tags #interview successful people, #start with you, #alarm clock, #jello bed, #boy im tired, #ratbert, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert approaches him with a notebook and pen and says, "I'm going to interview successful people and write a book of their tips. I'll start with you, Dogbert." Ratbert writes in his notebook as Dogbert says, "Set your alarm clock to go off every hour. Keep a big vat of 'Jell-O' by the bed. When the alarm goes off, stick our head in the 'Jell-O' and yell, 'Boy, I'm tired!'" Ratbert walks away saying, "Thanks!" Dogbert thinks, "Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company."
Monday August 01,
2011
Tags #actions & defenses, #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #international data security standards group, #security prcedures, #bed sores
Transcript
Boss: Dogbert is chairing the international data security standards group. Dogbert: The goal of our organizations is to make your security procedures so inconvenient that you give up hope and die from bed sores. We take pride in being independent from the companies that fund us.
Sunday November 06,
2011
Tags #interviews, #suspicion, #job interview, #brand online, #blog, #tweets, #facebook, #credit, #criminal record, #transcripts, #refrences, #external stuff, #attitude, #yrine test, #dna test, #tanning bed, #mri, #psychology
Transcript
Job interview Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.
Friday December 09,
2011
Tags #anger, #annoyance, #wrong side of bed, #bat like, #wrapped around body, #funnier in head
Transcript
Alice: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Wally: Were you hanging from the bottom with your wings wrapped around your body? That was funnier inside my head.
Saturday July 29,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #pajama top, #covers, #bed
Transcript
Dogbert stands in the door of Dilbert's bedroom. Dilbert sits up in bed as Dogbert says, "I'm having nightmares, move over." Dilbert lets Dogbert climb into bed and says, "Just don't hog all the covers." Dilbert stands next to the bed and says, "At least give me my pajama top . . ." All of the covers, sheets and pillows are wrapped around Dogbert who says, "Shhh . . ."
Thursday December 28,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dan quayle, #vice president, #states, #pants, #lord, #bed, #rock
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Oh, sure, Dan Quayle may be Vice President of the United States . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . But he still puts his pants on one leg at a time." Dan Quayle sits on his bed with his arms through one of his pant legs. Marilyn Quayle covers her eyes and thinks, "Oh, Lord, not this again . . ."
Tuesday November 27,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bob, #dawn, #doomed, #naturally, #jello, #yodeling
Transcript
Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor holding hands and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Bob says, "We want to have an egg, but we don't know how." Dogbert replies, "Just do what comes naturally." Bob asks, "You mean . . . Roll in Jello while yodeling?" Dogbert says, "You're doomed."
Wednesday January 08,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #bed, #purpose in life, #today, #hungry, #toasted, #bagel, #great, #empty, #stomach, #think, #breakfast
Transcript
Dilbert lies in bed thinking, "Why should I get up today? What is my purpose in life?" Dilbert thinks, "I'm hungry. A toasted bagel would taste great." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating breakfast. Dilbert says, "Maybe the purpose of life is eating bagels." Dogbert says, "You shouldn't try to think on an empty stomach."
Saturday August 08,
1992
Tags #appearance, #refrigerator, #people, #Dogbert, #traveled, #miracle, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #jar, #elvis, #jello, #king
Transcript
A newsreporter stands on the lawn in front of Dilbert's house. She says, "People have traveled from all over to see the miracle of the peanut butter." Behind the reporter, people with outstretched arms walk toward the house. Dogbert stands on top of the refrigerator collecting money. Dogbert says, "Step right up . . . Just ten bucks to see the face of Saint Ted appearing in my jar of peanut butter." A man opens the fridge and says, "Ooh! And I see Elvis in the Jello!" Another man says, "Only the King moves like that!"
Monday September 21,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #invented, #send, #vast, #amounts, #fiber, #optic, #cables, #application, #bells, #theorem, #showed, #molecule, #electron, #originally, #joined, #industry, #give, #bed
Transcript
Dilbert sits at the desk and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "There . . . I think I've invented a way to send vast amounts of data without fiber optic cables." Dilbert continues, "It's a simple application of J. S. Bell's theorem. He showed that if you break up a molecule and change the spin of one electron, the spin of the other electrons originally joined will immediately change too, no matter where they are." Dilbert asks, "What do you think the fiber optic industry will give me for this." Dogbert replies, "A horse's head in your bed."