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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #rambling, #questions, #focus, #johnson, #fetch, #stick, #achieve, #sacrificing, #customer, #the boss

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #lab, #model, #automatic, #dentures, #program, #eat, #meat, #loaf, #asleep, #boss, #johnson

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Dilbert and the Boss stand in the laboratory. Dilbert says, "This is the first lab model of automatic dentures." Dilbert explains, "You can program them to eat a meat loaf for you while you sleep . . . Quite a little time saver." Inside the lab, the Boss asks, "Weren't you working with Johnson?" Dilbert replies, "Ooh . . . Bad news about Johnson, sir."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #meat, #loaf, #johnson, #april, #form, #somebody, #dentures

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Dilbert and the Boss stand in the lab. The Boss asks, "Are you telling me that your automatic denture invention mistook Johnson for a meat loaf?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . Last April. I guess I should have told somebody." The Boss covers his face with his hands. Dilbert asks, "Is there a form I need to fill out?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #widow, #johnson, #missus, #devoured, #automatic, #denture, #invention, #building, #laugh

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Dilbert stands at a woman's door and asks, "Are you Widow Johnson . . . Uh, I mean 'Missus' Johnson?" Dilbert says, "I'm afraid your husband was devoured by the automatic denture invention we were building." Dilbert continues, "Some day we'll look back at this and laugh." The woman looks shocked.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #company's, #privacy, #johnson, #cheetos, #diet pepsi, #grass, #skirts, #lawnmower

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Dilbert asks Wally, "Don't you think the company's drug testing policy is a violation of our privacy?" Wally replies, "I don't do drugs." The Boss reads a report and says, "Johnson, your blood test results are in. Looks like you live on Cheetos and Diet Pepsi . . . Your wife doesn't love you . . . And whoa . . What's this?" The Boss continues, "Apparently, you like to dress in grass skirts and make fun of the lawnmower."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #staff, #cuts, #dart, #chart, #blind folded, #slayed, #johnson, #decisive, #management

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The Boss says to Dilbert and two other employees, "The staff cuts will be determined by tossing a dart at the organization chart while blindfolded." The Boss puts on a blindfold and throws the dart. Someone screams. A woman says, "You slayed Johnson!" The Boss replies, "Boy, talk about decisive management!"