Judge Algebra Comic Strips

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49 Results for Judge Algebra

View 1 - 10 results for judge algebra comic strips. Discover the best "Judge Algebra" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #thinking, #judge them, #chipmunk, #judge algebra, #complex and useful, #innovative circuit design, #engineer, #office setting, #desks, #computers, #engineering

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Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.

Bad Judge Of Character

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Bad Judge Of Character  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video

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boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #honor, #executive, #judge, #died, #choking, #waffle, #x-rays, #against

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Dogbert stands in front of the bench and says to a judge, "Your Honor, my client has been accused of slaying an executive of his company . . ." Dogbert holds up an x-ray image and continues, "But these x-rays prove that the deceased died from choking on a waffle." The judge says, "It looks like you drew these x-rays yourself." Dogbert replies, "Oh, I suppose there's a law against THAT, too!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chef, #Dogbert, #park bench, #two, #years, #brother, #jail, #dishonest, #judge, #cook, #Family, #sarcasm

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Dogbert sits on a park bench next to a chef. The chef says, "I haven't been able to get a job in two years." The chef continues, "It's because everybody knows my brother is in jail. People think I must be dishonest too." The chef concludes, "You should not judge a cook by its brother." Dogbert replies, "He probably says the same about you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #guilty, #stealing, #millions, #insider, #trading, #scheme, #judge, #punishment

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Dogbert stands in front of a judge's bench in a courtroom. The judge says, "I find you guilty of stealing millions in an insider trading scheme." The judge says, "Let's see . . . According to my sliding scale of justice, the punishment at your income is . . . Hmm . . ." Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm sentenced to be the subject of a Kitty Kelly biography."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #amazing ronny, #famous, #skeptic, #debunker, #media, #space, #alien, #cow, #algebra, #interview

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A man in a cape says to Dogbert who is followed by two reporters, "Stop! I am the 'Amazing Ronny,' famous skeptic and debunker." Ronny continues, "I will prove to the media that you're not a powerful space alien at all." Ronny puts on a hat with antennae like Dogbert's and says, "See how easily the media were duped?" One reporter says to the other, "There's still time to interview the cow who does algebra." Dogbert growls at Ronny.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trial, #judge, #lawyer, #Dogbert

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Dogbert stands in front of the judge's bench in a courtroom. Dogbert says, "For my first witness, I call the defendant's attorney." Dogbert asks the lawyer, "Is it true that you're wearing women's lingerie right now?" The lawyer looks surprised and says, "No!" The judge asks, "Is this relevant to your case?" Dogbert replies, "I wonder why YOU're so touchy about this subject."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trial, #judge, #Dogbert, #jury, #Men, #Women, #civil suit

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Dogbert says to the members of the jury, "Before you decide who wins this civil suit, remember this . . ." Dogbert continues, "I can't legally offer you large cash kick-backs for deciding in my favor. But please take a moment to complete a self-addressed stamped envelope." The judge asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to establish 'reasonable doubt.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #trial, #jury, #verdict, #judge, #Dogbert

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The foreman of the jury reads a document and says, "The jury has reached a decision in the case of 'Dogbert vs. A Big Corporation.'" The man continues, "We award Dogbert fifty million dollars because we hate big companies and we like little dogs with glasses." The man continues, "And we award a Maytag dryer to juror Mindy for being 'Best Dressed.'" The judge covers his eyes and thinks, "I hate my life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judge, #Dogbert, #trial, #alice, #temp worker, #Wally, #jury

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Dogbert says to the members of a jury, "Yes, my client did accidentally slay a 'temp' worker . . . Emphasis on 'TEMP.'" Dogbert asks, "But who among us can say they haven't slain innocent people when the situation called for it?" The judge replies, "I can." Dogbert says, "Well, great . . . So much for getting a fair trial."