Search Results for "judged by accomplishments"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #judged by accomplishments, #not gender, #14th patent, #lunch banquet, #honor alice

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Tina the tech writer says to Alice, "Alice, one day I hope we can be judged by our accomplishments and not our gender." Alice says, "I got my fourteenth patent today. I'm on my way to a lunch banquet in my honor." Tina says, "And you wore THAT?" Alice frowns in anger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #dating, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #Dilbert, #twitter, #world has judged, #dont exist, #ghost, #blocking tv, #relationships

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Woman: How many Twitter followers do you have? Dilbert: None. Woman: The world has judged you. Dilbert: It's as if I don't exist! Dogbert: For a ghost, you do a good job of blocking the TV.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #coffe lounge, #more vocal, #accomplishments, #bragging, #perfect substotute, #wind, #seat cushion

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Dilbert: I think I need to be more vocal about my accomplishments. Wally: I've found that bragging is a perfect substitute for accomplishing stuff. Dilbert: I plan to do both. Wally: Wow. You are the wind beneath my seat cushion.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #drug, #testing, #performance, #attendance, #judged, #insult, #integrity

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why have you refused to submit to our employee drug testing?" Dilbert replies, "It's violation of my privacy and an insult to my integrity. I demand to be judged only on my PERFORMANCE." The Boss says, "But your performance stinks," Dilbert says, "Performance AND attendance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #judged, #accept, #lacked, #emotion, #judging, #them

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I feel like I'm being judged by everybody I see." Dilbert asks, "Why can't people accept other people as they are, without judging them?" Dogbert holds up a card with the score "7.5" written on it. Dogbert says, "It was a good speech, but it lacked emotion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #summarized accomplishments, #ceo, #converts waste into penicillain, #calirovoyant, #invented wool, #sheep, #believe me

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"Have you summarized your accomplishments for our CEO?" "Almost done." "Okay - My body converts toxic waste into penicillin, I'm clairvoyant, and I invented wool." "I thought sheep invented wool." "Who are you gonna believe, them or me?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #exaggerating accomplishments, #failing, #monkey, #more humiliating, #stupid monkey, #typical, #zimbu, #animals

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The Boss: Our CEO cancelled his visit, He's sending his top aid, ZIMBU the monkey in his place. Dilbert: Isn't that typical? I spent a week exaggerating my accomplishments for this now he sends a stupid monkey! what could be more humiliating than trying to suck up to a monkey? Monkey: Failing at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #boss's ignorance, #advantage, #impresses him, #accomplishments, #barney suit, #secret identity

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "You must learn to use your boss's ignorance to your advantage." Dogbert continues, "Find out what impresses him and list it on your accomplishments." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads a document and says, "You're the actor in the 'Barney' suit?!! I love that guy!" Dilbert says, "Don't tell anybody my secret identity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bob procurement, #duties are simple, #assume employees lie, #multimedia laptop, #demo labeler, #low cost substitutes, #savings, #accomplishments

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His boss in procurement explains to Bob the Dinosaur, "Your duties are simple. People will come to you and ask for things." Bob's boss continues, "Assume all employees are lying, treasure-hunting thieves. Give them low-cost substitutes and claim the savings on your accomplishments." An employee says to Bob, "I asked for a multimedia laptop PC. This is a 'Dymo' labeler." Bob responds, "Nice try, Paul, if that's your real name."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bullet point, #monthly accomplishments, #leveraged synergy, #technology platforms

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I need a bullet point for your monthly accomplishments, Wally." Wally replies, "Put me down for, 'Leveraged synergy across all technology platforms.'" Dilbert says, "That was your accomplishment last month." Wally replies, "It's more of a journey than a destination."