Search Results for "just from roof"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.
1 - 10 of 1000

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #roof, #cubicle, #modular, #idiot, #wall, #ceiling, #chance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, how did you get a roof for your cubicle?" Wally replies, "This stuff is modular. You just take some idiot's wall and make it your ceiling." Dilbert asks, "By any chance, do you know what happened to MY wall?" Wally asks, "What did it look like?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2001's comic on:

Tags #roof gets shingled, #chaos driven, #climate ocntrol, #rest randomizer, #rain shingles, #roof

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands outside looking at his roof and says to the garbageman, "I hope it doesn't rain until my roof gets shingled." The garbageman asks, "Why don't you use your personal chaos-driven climate control appartus to control the rain?" Dilbert looks at him and says, "I...uh...don't have one." The garbageman holds out a gadget and says, "Here, you can use mine. Just reset the randomizer when you're done."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2003's comic on:

Tags #leave work early, #don't walk past, #office of boss, #just from roof, #land in dumpster, #leadership, #cut throat

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2012's comic on:

Tags #crimes, #engineers, #engineering question, #holiday lights, #homeless guy, #catapult, #satellite map, #fell off roof, #flight oath, #neighbors pool, #broken leg, #heartless

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have a minute to answer an engineering question? My wife is out of town visiting her sister. She asked me to put up the holiday lights while she was gone. I hired a homeless guy to do it and he fell off the roof. What's the easiest way to get rid of the body before my wife comes home? Dilbert: Your question is disturbing, but I'm intrigued by the engineering part. Here's a design for a catapult you can build at home. And here's a satellite map showing the best flight path to a neighbor's pool. Did he die right away? Boss: No, just a broken leg.

App For Jumping Off The Roof

Thank you for voting.
App For Jumping Off The Roof - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2017's comic on:

Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #suicide, #murder, #legal issues, #reasonable doubt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #conversation, #dating, #micromanaging, #boss, #god work, #just listen, #insulting, #insuate, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: My boss keeps micromanaging me. Dilbert: Have you tried doing good work so she doesn't feel the need? Maybe I should just listen.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2012's comic on:

Tags #inventions, #space elevator, #prototype, #roof, #pipe, #close call, #edge of building

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I finished the space elevator prototype. Boss: So soon? I thought it would take years? Wally: It's just a prototype. Do you want to try it. Boss: Sure.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2012's comic on:

Tags #military policy, #missile program, #orphanage, #roof of orphange, #test missle, #elbonia

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian: Our missile program is the pride of Elbonia! Yesterday we launched a test missile that went a hundred yards before ripping the roof off an orphanage. Dogbert: You test your missiles near orphans? Elbonian: What are the odds they'd be unlucky three times?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #roof, #leaking, #fix, #tomorrow, #members, #profession, #unreliable, #quote, #show, #return, #calls, #hired, #nobody, #repeat, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1994's comic on:

Tags #no raises, #no promotions, #mathematical certainty, #inflation, #pooer, #uncertainty, #leader, #not just manager

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The company has announced there will be no raises or promotions this year." "Now, there's a mathematical certainty that no matter how hard you work, inflation will make you poorer." Dilbert: "I hated the old way, with all the uncertainty." The Boss: "I'm not just a manager, I'm a leader!"