Search Results for "just from roof"
Share February 19, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, how did you get a roof for your cubicle?" Wally replies, "This stuff is modular. You just take some idiot's wall and make it your ceiling." Dilbert asks, "By any chance, do you know what happened to MY wall?" Wally asks, "What did it look like?"
Share July 06, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert stands outside looking at his roof and says to the garbageman, "I hope it doesn't rain until my roof gets shingled." The garbageman asks, "Why don't you use your personal chaos-driven climate control appartus to control the rain?" Dilbert looks at him and says, "I...uh...don't have one." The garbageman holds out a gadget and says, "Here, you can use mine. Just reset the randomizer when you're done."
Share April 14, 2003's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.
Share November 18, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Do you have a minute to answer an engineering question? My wife is out of town visiting her sister. She asked me to put up the holiday lights while she was gone. I hired a homeless guy to do it and he fell off the roof. What's the easiest way to get rid of the body before my wife comes home? Dilbert: Your question is disturbing, but I'm intrigued by the engineering part. Here's a design for a catapult you can build at home. And here's a satellite map showing the best flight path to a neighbor's pool. Did he die right away? Boss: No, just a broken leg.
Share November 03, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Maybe we should remove the neural interface so his natural brain works again. Alice: Or... and this is just a thought-- we could create an app that makes him jump off the roof. Dilbert: Would that be murder or suicide? Alice: All we need is reasonable doubt.
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Share June 19, 2012's comic on:
Elbonian: Our missile program is the pride of Elbonia! Yesterday we launched a test missile that went a hundred yards before ripping the roof off an orphanage. Dogbert: You test your missiles near orphans? Elbonian: What are the odds they'd be unlucky three times?
Share November 28, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."
Share March 10, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: "The company has announced there will be no raises or promotions this year." "Now, there's a mathematical certainty that no matter how hard you work, inflation will make you poorer." Dilbert: "I hated the old way, with all the uncertainty." The Boss: "I'm not just a manager, I'm a leader!"