dilbert: do you think karma is real?
wally: nah.
boss: i'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. his name is karma.
dilbert: if you need me, i'll be hiding.
karma: i hear one of you has been bad.
wally: why did your parents name you karma?
karma: i don't have parents. i am karma.
wally: i suppose we have lots to discuss.
karma: let's start with volume one.
Dilbert: "Sometimes I feel guilty because my company sells defective products."
DOgbert: "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day and I assume they deserve it."
Dilbert: "By the way, where are we?"
Dogbert: "I think we wandered into a bad doodle."
Dilbert: Here's the guy who hasn't responded to any of my seventeen emails, nine texts, and four voicemails. It must be awkward sitting here now. Are you trying to concoct a plausible excuse for ignoring my messages? Say hello to karma.
Director of Green Andy says, "We've been pumping toxic waste into the water supply for years." Andy says, "yesterday, a giant, mutated alligator destroyed our only competitor's factory." The CEO says, "Now that karma has been discredited, what else can we pollute?" Andy says, "The sky's the limit."
Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.
Phil: I am Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light. I got a report that you wished bad karma upon your co-workers. Dilbert: You would put off a more menacing vibe if you didn't have leftover cereal in your pitchspoon. Phil: I was really hungry and I didn't feel like emptying the dishwasher. Dilbert: We've all been there.
Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.
Boss: I heard that you think I'm making the wrong decision with our technology roadmap. Dilbert: I never said that. Boss: I heard you did. Dilbert: Who told you that? Boss: I promised I wouldn't reveal my source. Dilbert: It never happened. Boss: That's not what I hear. Dilbert: Will the fate of my entire career depend on that rumor? Boss: It already does. Dilbert: Do you ever worry about karma? Boss: Get back to work. Narrator: One hour later. CEO: I hear you're embezzling like crazy. Boss: Who told you that?
Man: If you keep saying the coronavirus is a hoax. You are practically begging the universe to infect you.
CEO: Don't be so superstitious. That's not how anything works, you moron. Cough cough.
Man: No, karma! Not me!
