Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it?
Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard.
Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that.
Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.
dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are.
boss: why would we do that?
dilbert: to make it better.
boss: that would only make it harder to use.
dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?
dilbert: i fired all of our software vendors and erased my hard drive as you ordered.
boss holding bottle of disinfectant: really? i was disinfecting my keyboard, and i must have sent you a random message by accident. oops.
dilbert at laptop.
catbert: human resources is doing keyboard audits on all remote workers.
catbert: looks like you have a keyboard right there.
catbert laying on keyboard: mmm-mmm!
dilbert: will this take long?
conscience voice coming from dilbert's keyboard.
keyboard: hello, human. i'm your keyboard's conscience. you should reconsider sending such a mean email. working remotely has caused you to devolve into an empathy-free monster who cares nothing for the feelings of other.
dilbert typing: send
keyboard: now you're just being a jerk.
Alice says, "Is this how you really write, or did birds walk on your keyboard?" Alice says, "I only need your opinion on the technical part of it." Alice says, "Okay, let's assume that your readers will know what you mean by 'blobbing on the ethernet.'"
"You're not welcome here, Cat. It's against house rules to eat Ratbert."
"My work here is not done until I have pounced on my natural enemy."
"Who are you, and what are you doing on my keyboard?"
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."
Dilbert squeezes a "stress ball" while he sits at his computer. He thinks, "It's been a stressful day. Luckily I have this little balloon full of sand to squeeze and reduce my stress." Dilbert squeezes the balloon so hard it goes "poof" and sand falls into his keyboard. Dilbert thinks, "Oops." The Boss holds a paper, an equipment request, and says to Dilbert, "You need a new kybard? What's a kybard?" Dilbert is extremely angry and screams, "Just sign the stupid thing!"
