Search Results for "kill for personal gain"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 339

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1995's comic on:

Tags #business case, #various mangers, #being misplaced, #kill for personal gain, #buried, #not cremeated, #lasting impression, #earth, #mail corpse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "Today I distributed 36 copies of my business case to various managers for approval." Dilbert sits on the armrest of the couch and continues, "By my count, 20 are being misplaced, 6 managers will try to kill it for personal gain and 10 will come back with irrelevant questions." Dilbert says, "When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can at least make ONE lasting impression on the earth." Dogbert says, "I was planning to mail your corpse to somebody I don't like."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1998's comic on:

Tags #dogbert the ceo, #stock price, #personal gain, #budget cuts, #products, #relevant

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Dogbert the C.E.O. Dogbert sits at head of table surrounded by workers. Dogbert says, "I've decided to manipulate our stock price for personal gain." Dogbert continues, "I'll spin off a few divisions, buy back some of our stock and announce massive budget cuts." Worker asks Dogbert, "Um...do you even know what products we make?" Dogbert replies, "How would that be relevant?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2005's comic on:

Tags #misleading, #financial problems, #shady innocent people, #personal gain

View Transcript

Transcript

Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2013's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #thinking, #twitter, #witty tweets, #power to destroy career, #abusing employees, #personal gain, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, create a Twitter account under my name and send out witty tweets every day. Carol: Buwhahahaha! I hold in my hands the power to destroy your career and your reputation! Boss: Every now and then I question my strategy of abusing my employees for personal gain.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #broadcast, #message, #computer, #geeks, #declare, #leader, #empire, #virtiual, #electronic, #venod, #exploiting, #leadership, #tradition

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types on the computer, "This is Dogbert, with a broadcast e-mail message to all computer geeks . . ." A man reads Dogbert's message on his computer. The message says, "I declare myself to be your leader, and I name my empire the 'Virtual Electronic Nation of Dogbert,' Venod for short." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and says, "I assume you'll be exploiting the simple people of Venod for personal gain." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, it's a leadership tradition."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2003's comic on:

Tags #casino for morons, #concept, #court room, #Dogbert, #gaming commission, #ratbert, #room full dolts, #jury, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Gaming Commission. Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting at a table. Dogbert says into a microphone, "My concept is a casino exclusively for morons." Dogbert continues, "Imagine a room full of oblivious dolts, and I'm taking advantage of them for personal gain." A woman on the commission asks, "When would that concept begin?" Dogbert replies, "About a minute ago."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2014's comic on:

Tags #wounds & injuries, #work related injury, #year off, #with pay, #drinking coffee, #listening to podcast, #personal, #butt hurts, #kill, #murder, #surfing internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2001's comic on:

Tags #motivation fairy, #work hard, #gain respect, #peers, #avoid stress, #out live peers, #hard work

View Transcript

Transcript

THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: Hovering in the air near Wally, the Fairy says, "If you work hard, you will gain the respect of your peers." Wally says to the hovering Motivation Fairy, "If I avoid the stress of hard work, I will out-live my peers." The Fairy asks, "Hard work can kill me?" Wally answers, "If you're lucky."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2011's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #fraternization, #friends with ghots, #ghandi, #ghost personal page, #ghosts, #heaven, #internet & world wide web, #llincoln, #satellite pictures, #social media, #social network, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #death & dying, #health insurance, #advance health care, #directive, #kill me directive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Here's the first draft of an advance health care directive I wrote for you. Dilbert: "Kill me if I have a headache. Kill me if I'm itchy. Kill me if I complain too much." I might have some edits. Dogbert: There's your complaining again!