Know Alternatives Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Know Alternatives

View 1 - 10 results for know alternatives comic strips. Discover the best "Know Alternatives" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1997's comic on:

Tags #mutual fund, #investors, #know alternatives, #huge market, #invest, #index fund, #wag hard

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch. Dogbert says, "I'm starting a mutual fund for investors who aren't bright enough to know their alternatives." Dogbert says, "It must be a huge market. Otherwise most people would invest in index funds." Dilbert asks, "What's an index fund?" Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Ouch, ouch!! You're making me wag too hard!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #annoyance, #apathy, #choosing, #comments, #two alternatives, #recommended option, #more expensive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.

Success Is About Who You Know

Thank you for voting.
Success Is About Who You Know - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2015's comic on:

Tags #blame, #blaming, #success, #who you know

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Success is all about who you know. I'm not successful, so apparently it doesn't help to know you. Dilbert: I"m sorry I let you down. Wally: It's as if you aren't even trying.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2011's comic on:

Tags #fraternization, #joking, #agenda, #know anything, #important he is, #like his jokes, #late for dinner, #jokes, #table, #meeting, #laughter, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The first thing on the agenda... Dilbert: Hold on. I don't know anything about this guy. Boss: What's the difference? Dilbert: I need to know how important he is. Should I pretend to like his jokes? Should I nod in agreement no matter what he says? Man: You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner. Dilbert: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope I didn't waste that.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2011's comic on:

Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2011's comic on:

Tags #dont know, #flashdrive, #gadgets, #hand, #illness, #where its been, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I put the data on a Flash drive for you. Dilbert: Get that thing away from me. I don't know where it's been. Coworker: I hope you mean the Flash drive and not my hand. Dilbert: I did. But you raise a good point about the hand.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1994's comic on:

Tags #less you know, #happier, #struggle, #computer, #naked, #clueless, #annoying, #feeling good, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

RatBert: "The less you know, the happier you are." "While you struggle with that computer, I'm naked, clueless and f-e-e-e-ling good!" Dilbert: "You're really annoying me now." Ratbert: "Totally naked! Isn't that a hoot?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1995's comic on:

Tags #nest paper towels, #call 911, #never know, #would have worked

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is standing in front of the copying machine. Reaching inside the copier, a man says, "Here's the problem. We've got a whole nest of paper trolls." The man yells as he is being pulled into the machine, "AAIIEE!" Dilbert thinks, "If I call 911 now I'll never know if the lower paper tray would have worked."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 1995's comic on:

Tags #more proactive, #fires dilbert, #doesn't know why

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "From now on I'm going to be more proactive." The Boss screams, "You're fired!!" Dilbert's tie and hair fly up in shock. Dilbert turns around and asks, "For what??" The Boss replies, "I don't know yet. That's the problem with being proactive."