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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #rude or shy, #rudy, #shilo, #don't know name, #boss introductions, #no one knows, #name him

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The boss is standing with a worker and says to Dilbert, "Here's the new guy. I don't know his name." The boss continues, "He's either rude or shy. No one knows for sure." The boss says, "If you figure it out, name hime either Shilo or Rudy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #blindfold, #carbs, #cublicle, #heinous crime, #put new guy, #won't know blind fold, #finance troll

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HECK were out of space boss. we've had a big upswing in people who use cell phone is bathrooms. Dang, Ive got a new guy coming in today, where will I put him? Maybe you could ask your brother,,, HMM... The boss: well, I suppose you could put hum in a cubicle. his crime wasn't that heinous, well, if you blind fold him, he won't know he's in a cubicle. so then I find pout its not okay to eat carbs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #joking, #agenda, #know anything, #important he is, #like his jokes, #late for dinner, #jokes, #table, #meeting, #laughter, #business

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Boss: The first thing on the agenda... Dilbert: Hold on. I don't know anything about this guy. Boss: What's the difference? Dilbert: I need to know how important he is. Should I pretend to like his jokes? Should I nod in agreement no matter what he says? Man: You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner. Dilbert: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope I didn't waste that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #computers & peripherals, #office equipment, #servers down, #holdup, #iterated by idiot, #guard door, #don't see guy

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Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #hate finance guy, #rigid, #inflexible, #not team player, #extra napkin, #lunch room talk

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Dilbert: Have you started to hate the new finance guy yet? wally: yeah, Is tarted yesterday. Dilbert: He seems so rigid. Wally: Rigid and inflexible, Not a team player. Dilbert: Do you have an extra napkin? Wally: I won't really know until Im done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #looks smarter, #look dumber, #ooga

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As Alice is working, a man comes up and says, "Alice, I'm the new guy. I look smarter than the people who already work here." Man's appearance starts to change. His body looks more prehistoric. He says, "As you get to know me, I'll look dumber and dumber." Man looks like a prehistoric man with a huge forehead now. Alice says, "That was fast." Man says, "Ooga."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogebrts tech support, #email, #tech support guy, #classical music, #mister radio

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Caption: Dogbert's Tech Support Tech Support guy talking on phone with Dogbert. Tech Support guy says, "I don't know how to use my e-mail." While sitting at his computer, responds, "You need to upgrade your I.Q. a few points. Try listening to classical music." Tech Support guy stares at radio with arms folded and thinks, "My old nemesis, Mister radio, we meet again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #name, #wallet, #hunts for wallet, #appears like hug

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Alice stands in her cubicle with the headless man. Alice says, "If we're going to work together, I should know your name." Alice says, "Let's see if you have a wallet with some identification." Alice huge the headless man, her hands in his back pockets. Wally walks by. Wally says, "Geez, Alice, could you let the new guy settle in first?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #change your mind, #sales + talk= stalk, #sales guy, #new position, #not good, #Dilbert

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Headline: Dilbert the Sales Guy. Dilbert is meeting with a customer. He says, "I'll talk to you every day to see if you change your mind." The customer replies, "Don't talk to me every day." Dilbert says, "You might change your mind." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Did you know that if you cross 'sales' with 'talk' you get 'stalk?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #make changes, #skills database, #know as guy, #avoid work, #too much work

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Tina: "Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" Wally: "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." Tina: "Because?" Wally: "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."