Know When To Quit Comic Strips
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The Boss says, "We can only succeed if each of us works nights and weekends for a year!" Dilbert says, "I quit." Wally says, "I'll clear out my desk." Alice says, "Me too." Dilbert says, "Or was that supossed to inspire us?" Wally says, "Like I'd know."
The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, you have ten seconds to decide if you want to be restructured, repurposed, or reassigned." Ted exclaims, "Repurposed! No, wait.. restructured.. No, reassigned! No, repurposed!" Catbert asks The Boss, "How many people volunteered to quit and didn't know?" The Boss responds, "Two out of Three!"
Boss: Persistence is the key to success. The other key to success is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: Your advice is contradictory nonsense. Boss: Because flexibility is the key to success.
Boss: Experts say you'll be more engaged if you have a friend at work. And when you're engaged, I can pay you less and you won't quit. Dilbert: So this guy is costing me money? Wally: Don't flatter yourself. I barely know your name.
Boss: Our financial forecaster quit. I need you to fill in for him. Dilbert: I don't know how to do financial forecasts. Boss: Neither did he. Dilbert: How were you making decisions? Boss: It's better if we don't excavate that septic tank.
ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.
alice: i forwarded your email to ted. Dilbert shaken: WHAT!!! i said bad things about ted! that was a private email to you! alice: he needed to know. dilbert yelling: he did not need to know!
Boss: The first thing on the agenda... Dilbert: Hold on. I don't know anything about this guy. Boss: What's the difference? Dilbert: I need to know how important he is. Should I pretend to like his jokes? Should I nod in agreement no matter what he says? Man: You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner. Dilbert: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope I didn't waste that.
Dilbert: If you won the lottery, would you quit working? Wally: I quit working years ago, but I might start gloating if it isn't too hard. Dilbert: Gloating doesn't sound hard. Wally: Can I do it without moving any facial muscles? I have weak eyebrows.