Knowing Plans Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

91 Results for Knowing Plans

View 1 - 10 results for knowing plans comic strips. Discover the best "Knowing Plans" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2001's comic on:

Tags #approval, #marketing, #pathetic plan, #knowing plans, #interest, #smite enemies, #cloud of doom, #sales projections, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Handing Dilbert a piece of paper, The Boss says, "Get approval from marketing." Dilbert walks away carrying the paper and followed by a little cloud which says, "Doom." The Marketing man, sitting at his desk, has devil's horns on his head. The marketing man says, "I reject your pathetic plan." Showing the piece of paper, Dilbert asks, "Do you have any interest in knowing what the plan is?" The little cloud that says, "Doom," continues hovering near Dilbert's head. The marketing man says, "Not unless you're proposing to smite my enemies." Dilbert says, "I prefer to call them customers. And yes, they'll take it in the shorts." The little cloud that says, "Doom," continues hovering near Dilbert's head. Dilbert says, "As an added inducement I will give you this cool little Cloud of Doom. The little cloud that says, "Doom," continues hovering near Dilbert's head. The marketing man says to the Cloud of Doom, "I'm going to staple you to my sales projections." The little cloud that says, "Doom," is now hovering near the marketing man's head.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #mental, #stimulation, #lazy, #knowing, #appreciate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the hall humming. He thinks, "It's one of those days my brain feels lazy." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better avoid any mental stimulation." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert says, "It's times like this I really appreciate knowing you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1995's comic on:

Tags #ousource, #functions, #knowing, #not good ta

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company has decided to outsource all of the functions that we're not any good at." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement and shout, "Yippee! Yay!" Wally asks the Boss, "When's your last day?" Alice points at him and says, "Uh-oh . . . They're not good at knowing what they're not good at . . ."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1995's comic on:

Tags #business plans fail, #realistic goal, #manage spectacular failures, #promoted first, #most cycnical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Most business plans fail. Obviously, success is not a realistic goal." Dogbert continues, "But the people who manage the most spectacular failures get promoted first because of their experience." Dilbert says, "That is the most cynical thing I've ever heard in my life!" Dogbert replies, "Thanks. I'm blushing."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1996's comic on:

Tags #co worker, #current job, #engineer, #higher salary, #throughly unqualified, #unrealistic plans, #wally resign, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand in the office kitchen. As he pours himself a cup of coffee, Wally says, "So I'm thinking I'll resign, then I'll reapply for my current job at a higher salary." As they walk back to their cubicles, Dilbert says, "That's a good plan except for the fact that you're thoroughly unqualified for your current job." Wally says, "I need to share my unrealistic plans with a friend who isn't an engineer." Dilbert says, "I'm more of a co-worker than a friend, per se."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1998's comic on:

Tags #no real purpose, #rais eissues, #form action plans, #urge to stomp, #not very professional

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Ted and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for comimg to the meeting that has no real purpose." Ted says, "Maybe we could raise issues and then form action plans." Alice says, "I have an urge to stomp you to death." Ted says, "That's not very professional of you."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2001's comic on:

Tags #meeting, #monday morning, #travel all day, #stealing life, #reschedule, #social plans, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sits behind his desk and says, "I told them you would be at the meeting Monday morning." Dilbert says, "What?? That means I have to travel all day Sunday. You're stealing my life!" Dilbert sits on the couch in his robe eating. He turns to Dogbert and says, "Then he said if I had social plans he'd reschedule." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2002's comic on:

Tags #daily prayer services, #blood, #bain washing, #ambitious plans

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a wizard suit, holding an animal-headed staff says to The Boss, "I'd like permission to hold daily prayer services in a conference room." The man continues, "I'll do it before work and of course I'll clean up any blood." The man continues, "So far I'm the only member of my religion but I have ambitious plans for brainwashing."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2002's comic on:

Tags #avoid finsihing, #surplus employees, #wrong about knowing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Business is way down. You know what you need to do." Wally responds, "Avoid finishing anything so we never appear to be surplus employees?" Wally continues, "Maybe this would be a good time to admit that you were wrong about us knowing."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2003's comic on:

Tags #new hire, #guy, #bothering workers, #love golf, #rain tomorrow, #plans, #sad paper body, #roll in salt, #scoring system

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."