Knows He Can't Do Better Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

632 Results for Knows He Can't Do Better

View 1 - 10 results for knows he can't do better comic strips. Discover the best "Knows He Can't Do Better" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2005's comic on:

Tags #dating pretty boys, #look best, #act best, #more bread!, #knows he can't do better

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm tired of dating pretty boys where I need to look and act my best all the time." "I want a guy who knows he can't do better than me, no matter what I look like." "MORE BREAD!!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #deep, #sleep, #hypnosis, #Draw, #aliens, #abducted, #e.t., #bag, #packed, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a chair and Dilbert lies on a couch. Dogbert says, "You are in a deep sleep . . . Now, while under hypnosis you can draw the aliens who abducted you." Dogbert whispers, "Hint: they all look exactly like 'E.T.'" No longer hypnotized, Dilbert looks at a drawing and says, "Wow! I drew that??" Dogbert says, "They usually come back for you. Better keep a bag packed."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1999's comic on:

Tags #ram cache, #better engineer, #boss, #time line chart, #circuit design, #who knows more

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle and pionts at the screen. The boss says, "Now move the other thing next to the other thing and label it "ram cache." The boss says, "I'm your boss, so it stands to reason that I'm a better engineer than you." Dilbert says, "I'm telling you I'm working on my timeline chart." The boss says, "No, I'm sure that's a circuit design."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2004's comic on:

Tags #negotiating, #opening offer, #lots of better offers, #ruining everything

View Transcript

Transcript

Negotiating My opening offer is... Dilbert: Thank you, thank you, than you, we accept your offer!! I haven t said an offer. Dilbert: I mean we have lots of other offers that are better. You're ruining everything.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2008's comic on:

Tags #animals, #livestock, #punishment, #rudeness, #preventer of information, #mordac, #penalty, #relocation, #agrarian society, #cow knows, #rebooting, #call tech support

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, the preventer of information services Mordac says, "You have exceeded your allocation for I.T. support." Mordac says, "The penalty is forcible relocation to an agrarian society." Cow says, "Seriously, even a cow knows you should try rebooting before calling tech support."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2001's comic on:

Tags #wireless fiber multifage, #wrong solution, #software bug, #budget hardware, #business case, #get funding, #it people approved vendor, #better idea

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss leans over Dilbert, points to the computer screen and says, "Why don't you try using a wireless fiber multifage?" Dilbert says, "Well, first of all, no such thing exists." Dilbert continues, "If it did exist, it would surely be the wrong solution for a software bug." Dilbert says, "And there's no extra money in our budget for hardware." Dilbert continues, "It would take six months to writer a business case and get funding." The boss yawns. Dilbert says, "Then our I.T. people would refuse to install it because it's not an approved vendor." The boss says, "Do you have a better idea?" Dilbert says, "Yes. I just fixed it." The boss says, "Do you think you can hold the fort while I go coach someone else?"

Better Fast Than Good

Thank you for voting.
Better Fast Than Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2020's comic on:

Tags #boss, #email, #office workers, #sadness, #sarcasm, #time, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got your email, but I didn't have time to include your upgrades on my analysis. It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it's late. Alice: Why is it that everything true is also sad? Dilbert: That's how the truth works.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2011's comic on:

Tags #human body, #medicines, #vitamin d, #inner glow, #vitamins, #minerals, #better than sun

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Carol: I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need some sun to boost my vitamin D level. Topper: That's nothing. Exposure to my inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Dilbert: You're better than the sun? Topper: I don't quit just because it's night.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2011's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #language, #best shore, #off shore, #some countries, #better than others, #racists

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: And we plan to bestshore the production. Dilbert: What? Boss: We say bestshore now instead of offshore. Dilbert: Is that because we never tried to pick the best shore until now? Boss: Of course we tried to pick the best shore! Dilbert: But we never succeeded because we're incompetent? Boss: All I'm saying is that some countries are better than others! Wally: We're racists?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2011's comic on:

Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"