Lab Assistant Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

93 Results for Lab Assistant

View 1 - 10 results for lab assistant comic strips. Discover the best "Lab Assistant" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monitor actions, #cameras, #strapped to head, #non work related, #attach sensors, #track thoughts, #engineers, #lab assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We monitor all of your actions, but we suspect you are still doing non-work-related thinking." Catbert says, "My lab assistant Trixie will attach sensors to your head and track all of your thoughts." The computer screen says, "Mmm... Trixie, wear this while you wash my electric car." Trixie thinks, "Engineers."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Dilbert Organizes The Lab

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Organizes The Lab - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sarcasm, #business, #tech, #lab, #reorganize, #co-workers, #grateful

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: this week i reorganized the tech lab from top to bottom. dogbert: were your co-workers grateful? dilbert: yes, assuming they show it by rummaging through the wrong drawers and cursing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #office equipment, #prototype, #traffic, #traffic load test, #ask lab, #didn't ask lab

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baked products, #science, #flour, #lab

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the paper. Dogbert enters wearing a chef's hat and holding a spatula. Dogbert says, "We're out of flour." Dilbert replies, "I know." Dogbert asks, "And did you know that the bag of white powder in your lab looks just like flour?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Dogbert continues, "And you know how huge, mutated cupcakes will occasionally eat the neighbor's Chevy?" Dilbert says, "This better be a bad analogy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #good, #host, #sinister, #paranoia

View Transcript

Transcript

A lab rat says to a scientist, "Doc, we have to talk." The rat continues, "Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese . . . At first I thought you were just being a good host." The rat continues, "But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister." The professor writes in his notebook, "Macaroni and cheese causes paranoia."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #through, #wall, #doctor, #die, #over the wall

View Transcript

Transcript

A lab rat thinks, "I hate my life." The rat thinks, "If I eat one more ton of macaroni and cheese I think I'll die . . . Of course, that may be the point." The rat thinks, "Tonight I'm going 'over the wall.' Wait . . . I'm a rat . . . I'll go THROUGH the wall."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #lab rat, #escape, #laboratory, #embassy, #rat, #special, #treatment

View Transcript

Transcript

Lab rat: Greetings, dog. I've come to live in your house and escape from my job at the laboratory. You could think of me as a political exile seeking sanctuary in a friendly embassy. Dogbert: I could think of you as a rat. Lab rat: Okay, but I don't expect any special treatment.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lab rat, #professor, #indifidual, #respect, #escaped, #laboratory, #individual

View Transcript

Transcript

Lab Rat: I wasn't getting any respect at the lab... I felt used. Sure... The food was good-and lots of it... But I don't think the professor valued me as an individual. And a rat without respect is like... Like... Dogbert: Like you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #scientist, #dies, #lab rat, #rat, #laboratory, #missing, #trail, #investigation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Yes? Scientist: I'm looking for my escaped lab rat. The trail leads to this house. Dilbert: Can't you just use another rat? Scientist: No. I'm on a very limited budget. Dilbert: What will you do if he dies? Scientist: CPR.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #rabert, #lab rats, #stupid, #professor, #heart, #laboratory, #escaping

View Transcript

Transcript

Rabert: Goodbye, Dogbert, I must return to the lab with the professor. Dogbert: That's stupid. Rabert: He says he loves me. That must be why he fed me so much. Dogbert: You're getting stupider. Rabert: I have to follow my heart. Dogbert: Mmm... Love causes stupidity in lab rats.