Lack Of Response Comic Strips

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102 Results for Lack Of Response

View 1 - 10 results for lack of response comic strips. Discover the best "Lack Of Response" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #debates, #more aggressive, #blaming others, #lack of success, #keeping from work

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Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge

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Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #abuse, #skunk, #cats, #fear, #response, #ice cream

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Dilbert is threatened by an abusive skunk. Skunk: That's right: A big bowl of ice cream could keep me from being afraid and reflexively spraying your living room. Dilbert: This is blackmail! Skunk: My goodness, no. It's just that I can't control my fear response. Now I'm afraid that you won't sing the songs from "cats," while I eat.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle

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Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #peter, #brilliant, #computer, #programmer, #job, #lack, #social, #communicate, #species, #necktie

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The Boss says to an employee, "Peter, you're a brilliant computer programmer and you like your job." The Boss continues, "Although you lack any social awareness and cannot communicate with your species, I decided to promote you to management." The Boss holds out a tie and says, "Don't be afraid . . . It's called a necktie." Peter shakes and cowers in his chair.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance

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"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project cancelled, #answer, #task delegated, #craft response, #boss delegating job, #do nothing boss, #fraud

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The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #programmed, #computer, #analyze, #situation, #predict, #female, #response, #sad, #movie, #date, #receive flowers, #corner it

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed my computer to analyze any situation and predict the female response." Dilbert continues, "This should clarify a few things." Dilbert continues, "I'll type in 'watch sad movie.'" Dilbert says, "Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Now I'll try 'receive flowers.' Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Let's try 'date with Dilbert.' Result: crying." Dogbert says, "Boy, the truth gets vicious when you corner it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #experiment 1, #exposing rat marketing plan, #no adverse response, #introduction, #background, #far more exposure, #humans, #tolerate

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The caption says, "Experiment #1: I am exposing a rat to my company's marketing plan." Dilbert shows a copy of the plan to Ratbert. The caption says, "He seems to have no adverse response to the introduction and background." Ratbert hums as he reads the plan. Dilbert takes notes. The caption says, "This is already far more exposure than humans could tolerate." A large bump appears on Ratbert's head and he says, "Sales projections . . . brain tumor . . . get Tylenol . . ."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee survey, #tabulated, #under paid, #management is incompetent, #bizarre, #unworldly response, #travel alarm clock, #company logo

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Alice, the Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The results of the employee survey have been tabulated." The Boss continues, "As always, employees say they are underpaid, blah, blah, blah, and management is incompetent." Alice asks, "And your bizarre, unworldly response will be?" The Boss replies, "Everyone gets a travel alarm clock with the company logo!"