Search Results for "lack of experience"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #meeting, #introduce, #full body, #face front, #pointy hair, #lack of experience, #exotic, #over selling, #mustache, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Meet our new vice president of engineering." The Boss says, "We're lucky to have him despite his utter lack of experience in our industry." The Boss says, "Some might call him unqualified, but I call him exotic." Vice President says, "You're over-selling."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #office, #lack of experience, #revenge, #office politics, #worry, #sabotage, #best engineer, #4g, #skeptical, #false information

View Transcript

Transcript

The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

Tons Of Experience

Thank you for voting.
Tons Of Experience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #employment, #interviews, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We only hire people who have experience. Man: How can I get experience if no one wants to hire inexperienced people? Boss: We do hire liars. Man: Oh, good. I have tons of experience.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #debates, #more aggressive, #blaming others, #lack of success, #keeping from work

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #ben, #newest, #fast-track, #manager, #real, #experience, #executive, #style, #hair, #silver

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, I'd like you meet Ben, our newest fast-track manager." Dilbert says, "Hi." The Boss says, "Ben has no real experience but he's very tall, so we know he'll go far." Ben adds, "I also have executive style hair." The Boss says, "We think it will turn silver."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #peter, #brilliant, #computer, #programmer, #job, #lack, #social, #communicate, #species, #necktie

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to an employee, "Peter, you're a brilliant computer programmer and you like your job." The Boss continues, "Although you lack any social awareness and cannot communicate with your species, I decided to promote you to management." The Boss holds out a tie and says, "Don't be afraid . . . It's called a necktie." Peter shakes and cowers in his chair.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #prejudiced, #curiosity, #insulted, #experience

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert asks, "Is it possible that you're prejudiced against rats because you once had a bad experience with a rat?" Dilbert asks, "Just out of curiosity, what would be a GOOD experience with a rat?" Ratbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I believe I've been insulted!" Dilbert says, "That was kind of a good experience."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #sensory, #deprivation, #chamber, #experience, #mental, #stimulation, #paid

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "I prepare to enter the sensory deprivation chamber." Dilbert thinks, "I will experience no mental or physical stimulation for hours." Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "All that and I get paid too."