Lack Of Importance Comic Strips
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79 Results for Lack Of Importance
View 1 - 10 results for lack of importance comic strips. Discover the best "Lack Of Importance" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday December 30,
2004
Tags #tell vendor, #combination, #lack of importance, #total insignificant
Transcript
Why would my boss tell a vendor our strategy and not tell me? "It's probably a combination of your lack of importance and your total insignificance." "Do you have anymore questions like that one?"
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Thursday September 15,
2011
Tags #anger, #debates, #more aggressive, #blaming others, #lack of success, #keeping from work
Transcript
Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!
Sunday September 25,
2011
Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.
Friday February 14,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle
Transcript
Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."
Saturday August 29,
1992
Tags #the boss, #unimportant, #requires, #action, #route, #subordinate, #inflating, #perceived, #importance, #destroying, #morale, #productivity, #luck, #copies
Transcript
The Boss sits at his desk looking through a stack of documents and thinking, "Here's something else that's totally unimportant yet requires action." The Boss thinks, "I'll route it to a subordinate, thus inflating its perceived importance and destroying both morale and productivity." The Boss thinks, "What luck, I got two copies!"
Monday February 01,
1993
Tags #the boss, #peter, #brilliant, #computer, #programmer, #job, #lack, #social, #communicate, #species, #necktie
Transcript
The Boss says to an employee, "Peter, you're a brilliant computer programmer and you like your job." The Boss continues, "Although you lack any social awareness and cannot communicate with your species, I decided to promote you to management." The Boss holds out a tie and says, "Don't be afraid . . . It's called a necktie." Peter shakes and cowers in his chair.
Friday February 04,
1994
Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance
Transcript
"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"
Thursday October 03,
1996
Tags #document, #job process, #requirements, #anticipate, #shifting political winds, #relevant buzzwords, #achieve, #importance, #adding value, #process design
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table using a laptop. Dilbert tells the man across the table, "I need to document your job processes to satisfy our ISO 9000 requirements." The man replies, "Okay." The man says, "I try to anticipate the shifting political winds. Then I wrap myself in the relevant buzzwords and try to achieve importance without adding value." Dilbert asks, "What's your job title?" The man replies, "Director of ISO 9000 Quality Process Design."
Monday January 26,
1998
Tags #deputy of common sense, #apply swift justice, #lack of common sense, #chocolate gun, #irony
Transcript
Dilbert is working at his computer and Dogbert stands next to him wearing a policeman's hat, belt and holster. He says, 'I appointed myself Deputy of Common Sense." Dogbert waves a revolver pistol and says, "I will apply swift justice to those who exhibit a lack of common sense." Dilbert asks, "So, swift justice for people who aren't too swift." Dogbert says, "And I'm using a chocolate gun for irony."
Friday April 03,
1998
Tags #warning lables, #slices anti depressants, #cause fatique, #memory loss, #lack of sex, #disorientation
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally, and Alice are sitting at a table. Wally holds a pill bottle and says, "Look at the warning label on Alice's antidepressants." Wally continues, "It can cause fatigue disorientation, memory loss, and lack of sex." Dilbert responds, "I wonder how long we've been taking them." Wally replies, "There's no way to know."