Lap Top Comic Strips
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Character
170 Results for Lap Top
View 1 - 10 results for lap top comic strips. Discover the best "Lap Top" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 12,
1995
Tags more than me, like computer, girl friend, jealous of computer, that computer, ask about lap top
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. Liz says to Dilbert, "I think you like that computer more than you like me." Dilbert responds, "That's not true, Liz. I do NOT like that computer more than I like you." Dilbert thinks to himself, "Please, please don't ask about the laptop." Liz asks, "'That' computer?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday December 23,
1997
Tags illogical scientist, idea won't work, religious nuts
Transcript
Alice is sitting at a table with her lap top computer and is writing something. Dan pulls up a chair and says, "Hi. I'm Dan, the Illogical Scientist." Alice covers what she is writing. Dan says, "That idea won't work. I know because I've read many reports about ideas that didn't work." Alice says, "You haven't even looked at my idea." Dan says, "Oh, I get it; you're one of those religious nuts."
Wednesday March 03,
1999
Tags people fear public speaking, fear death, kill a guy, scheduled to speak, sleep, threats, dogcart threatens dilbert, hints at death, health
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the breakfast table. Dilbert has his lap top in front of him. Dogbert says, "They say people fear public speaking more than they fear death." Dogbert says, "So technically, if you kill a guy who's scheduled to speak, you're doing him a favor." Dogbert says, "When are you going to sleep." Dilbert says, "Never."
Friday April 23,
1999
Tags moral issues, summarize, appropriate categoires, managers incompetent, arrogant, micromanaging, msiogynists, time of month
Transcript
Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."
Tuesday December 07,
1999
Tags idiots, i quit, higher paying job, miles away, adios, web designer, hear your idiots, ethernet
Transcript
Dilbert, the boss and a male employee are sitting at a table. The employee who has a lap-top in front of him says: "You're all idiots. I quit!" The male employee is typing on his lap-top and says: "There ... I found a higher paying job two miles away. Adios, suckers." A female employee standing between Dilbert and the boss says: "I'm the new web designer. I hear you're idiots. Where's the ethernet jack?"
Monday May 26,
2008
Wednesday May 28,
2008
Tags home lap top, non standard cell phone, elastic underpants, trapped, snagged, clothes, rigged, office
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."
Saturday August 23,
2008
Tags elbonian spies, stole lap top, confidentail data, virus, destroy morale, hope, business plan
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"
Tuesday January 25,
2011
Tags tax incentives, capital investments, pursue opportunities, over burdened staff, divert resocurces, top priorities
Transcript
Demon says, "The government announced tax incentives for new capital investments." Dilbert says, "That's great. Now we can pursue marginally attractive opportunities with our overburdened staff." Demon says, "Is he always like this?" The Boss says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "I'll just divert resources from our top priorities."
Tuesday January 17,
2012
Tags actions & defenses, billion dollars, business ethics, golden key, rich people, top 1%, flying unicorn
Transcript
Boss: Here's a billion dollars to settle your claim of discrimination against short, bald, nearsighted guys. Wally: I'm in the top 1% now. I wonder where we hold our secret meetings. Boss: Ask the tiny flying unicorn with the golden key.