Last Day Of Life Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Last Day Of Life

View 1 - 10 results for last day of life comic strips. Discover the best "Last Day Of Life" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obstinacy, #prove wrong, #never work, #reflex, #worst idea, #last day of life, #jump off roof

View Transcript

Transcript

Jeff had to prove everyone wrong. That will never work. It was like a reflex. He couldn't stop. That's the worst idea I have ever heard. This was his last day of life. Alice: You can't jump off the roof right now. Jeff: Uh-oh.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last day, #farewells, #working, #row, #stay in touch, #stranger

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, who has the letter 'R' painted on his chest, says to Wally, "Today is my last day. I'm saying my farewells." Wally looks at Ted as Ted says, "We've never talked, but I was working my way down the row and here you are." Ted says, "So... Let's stay in touch." Wally says, "Don't be a stranger."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #info, #last day, #projects, #right away, #soon enough, #90 days

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Here are some projects to finish before your last day." Dilbert responds, "But.. I'll have to interact with people who know I've been downsized." The Boss replies, "Hee Hee!" A coworker mocks Dilbert, "I'll get this information to you right away. Is ninety days soon enough?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #dangerously incompetent, #last day of work, #lazy, #software, #tell everyone, #train, #unwarranted confidence, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: This is my last day of work, so I won't have time to completely train you on the software. But I can show you enough to give you unwarranted confidence, when you should be feeling dangerously incompetent. Dilbert: That sounds worse than doing nothing. Coworker: Before I leave, I'll tell everyone you're lazy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #the boss, #typo, #budget, #spreadsheet, #pay, #work, #happiest, #day, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ousource, #functions, #knowing, #not good ta

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "The company has decided to outsource all of the functions that we're not any good at." Dilbert, Wally and Alice throw their arms up in excitement and shout, "Yippee! Yay!" Wally asks the Boss, "When's your last day?" Alice points at him and says, "Uh-oh . . . They're not good at knowing what they're not good at . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #pep talk, #ceo, #angry, #silent, #worry, #front, #motivation, #dumb, #hate, #bosses, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The CEO pep talk CEO says, "I want to know I can count on every one of you!" CEO says, "What's wrong with these people?" Dilbert says, "Well? I fired that guy this morning. His last day is tomorrow." Boss says, "That one retires at the end of the month." The Boss says, "Those three are contractors. I didn't renew their contracts." The Boss says, "The rest of them believe that motivation is how the powerful steal from the dumb." CEO says, "Tell them I hate their guts." The Boss says, "I did that in the pre-meeting."

Height Advantage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Height Advantage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #employement, #fired, #height, #hiring, #managers & supervisors, #pay cut, #short, #tall, #video conferencing, #zoom

View Transcript

Transcript

boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.

Ted And His Laptop

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted And His Laptop - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #employment, #fired, #laptop, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: today is your last day with the company, ted. so i need your company laptop back. ted: or else what? you'll fire me twice? boss: let's say you're not officially fired until you return the laptop. ted: and if i don't bring it back, will i never be fired? boss: um...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #world, #worse, #been, #born, #wait, #turn, #computer, #every, #night, #electricity, #meaning, #life, #today, #bedroom, #light, #day

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Would the world be any worse off if I'd never been born?" Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . If not for me, who would turn off this computer every night. I'm saving electricity!" Dilbert arrives at home carrying his briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I found meaning in my life today." Dogbert says, "You left your bedroom light on all day."