Launching Staellites Comic Strips
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8 Results for Launching Staellites
View 1 - 8 results for launching staellites comic strips. Discover the best "Launching Staellites" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 24,
1994
Tags #elbonian division, #launching staellites, #technology, #elbonians
Transcript
The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit. Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology. Elbonia OOPS elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.
Tuesday January 25,
1994
Tags #bad timing, #corporate offcie, #declared war, #french embassy, #satellite program, #slingshot
Transcript
Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.
Thursday October 17,
2002
Tags #product launch party, #day and night, #working, #five years, #mime impression, #party, #add much
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A coworker approaches and says, "Can you come to the product-launch party next week?" Dilbert responds, "No. I'll be working day and night for five years to build the product you think you're launching." The coworker says, "Something tells me you don't add much to a party." Dilbert responds, "You haven't seen my mime impression."
Thursday May 18,
2006
Transcript
My space defense shield detects an incoming threat. I am launching intercept rockets. "Apparently the boys at Google used a death ray to blast the international space station out of orbit and toward our house." "Why do you have a space defense shield?" "Doesn't that seem like a stupid question now?"
Friday July 31,
2009
Tags #firing, #launching, #spring, #ridiculous, #surprised, #worried, #scared, #evil, #cruel
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "My old policy was to have security immediately escort out anyone I fired." Sproing! Catbert says, "But that left too much time for weeping."
Sunday November 09,
2014
Tags #capitalism, #cruelty, #executives, #industry & manufacturing, #manufacturing, #meat, #announcements, #artificial meat prodcut, #automated robots, #senior management, #manufacturing employees, #engineering
Transcript
CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?
Friday December 14,
2018
Cake Is Healthy
Tags #cake, #diet, #employees, #employment, #health, #health food, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Boss: We're launching a health and wellness initiative for employees this week. In other news, we have cake in the break room to celebrate all of the birthdays this month. Dilbert: Because cake is healthy? Boss: Learn to compartmentalize.
Wednesday December 25,
2019
User Complaints
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair
Transcript
dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.