Lawsuit Comic Strips
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11 Results for Lawsuit
View 1 - 10 results for lawsuit comic strips. Discover the best "Lawsuit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 27,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #lawsuit, #woman, #calculator
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Does it bother you that I won fifty million dollars in my lawsuit, whereas you still toil to remain middle class?" Dogbert asks, "Does it bother you to know that I could buy and sell you . . How many times?" A woman with a calculator says, "834 times." Dogbert says, "Hey, it's gone up since lunch!"
Sunday January 31,
1993
Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #legal, #department, #corporate, #lawyer, #trial, #judge, #position, #unglamorous, #consequently, #bad, #attitude, #approve, #sued, #trouble, #month, #nromally, #reject, #lawsuit
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert, "Before I read your proposal, run it past our legal department." Dilbert groans. The Boss thinks, "That's the end of that." A lawyer tells Dilbert, "I didn't have to become a corporate lawyer. I could be a trial lawyer or a judge, you know." The attorney continues, "But I chose to work here at this unglamorous position." The man continues, "Consequently, I have a bad attitude and I'm going to take it out on you." The lawyer says, "Your proposal does noting to help MY career. And if I approve it and we get sued later, then I'll get in trouble." The lawyer continues, "In a month or so, I'll formally reject your idea with a neatly typed but oddly worded memo." The Boss asks, "Did he reject your proposal yet?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah. And he filed a lawsuit against me."
Wednesday June 09,
1999
Tags #lawsuit, #against company, #truth, #usual engineering, #no one understands, #whistleblower, #sound the same
Transcript
The boss stands behind Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to testify in the lawsuit against our company." The boss says, "Tell the truth, but do it in your usual engineering way so that no one understands you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I've decidedd to be a whistle-blower." The boss says, "Whatever. It'll all sound the same!"
Monday October 21,
2002
Tags #investment banker, #deal sheet, #company, #defending, #trillion doallr, #asbestos, #lawsuit, #no earnings, #stock analysts, #business
Transcript
Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "Here's a deal sheet for a company you should buy." Dogbert continues, "They're defending against a trillion-dollar asbestos lawsuit, and they have no earnings." Dogbert continues, "But that's okay because stock analysts don't dig that far into the minutiae."
Saturday October 26,
2002
Tags #drop lawsuit, #fight dirty, #dispatch goons, #billy blanks on ur butt, #mother, #dilmom, #suing company, #Family
Transcript
Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. Dilbert says to her, "Mom, you have to drop your lawsuit against my company. They fight dirty." Dilbert's mom swings around and exclaims, "Bring 'em on! I've been watching my 'Tae Bo' videos! I'll dispatch their goons to hell!" Dilbert says, "They sent me. I'm their goon." Dilbert's mom waves her arms in the air and says, "After dinner, I'm going Billy Bonkers on your butt!"
Monday October 28,
2002
Tags #get fired, #mother, #drop lawsuit, #despicable wesels, #enjoy challenge, #demand dna test, #Family
Transcript
Dilbert and his mom are eating dinner. Dilbert says, "Mom, I'll get fired unless you drop your lawsuit against my company." Dilbert's mom replies, "Why do you work for a company that's managed by despicable weasels?" Dilbert responds, "They tell me it's because I enjoy the challenge." Dilbert's mom says, "I demand a DNA test."
Monday July 28,
2008
Tags #lawsuit, #represent in lawsuit, #one condition, #do everything, #without hesitation
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Will you represent me in my lawsuit against my CEO?" Dogbert says, "Under one condition." Dogbert says, "You must do everything I ask, without question or hesitation." Dilbert says, "What if you tell me to do painful things for your amusement?" "Dogbert says, "If?"
Friday August 01,
2008
Tags #legal fees, #lawsuit, #fee is 100%, #analog, #lawyer, #legal
Transcript
Dilbert says, "How much do I owe you in legal fees for helping me win my lawsuit?" Dogbert says, "My fee is 100% of the jury award plus I get to call you names that sound worse than they are." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem fair." Dogbert says, "You're an analog."
Tuesday March 06,
2012
Tags #copyright & trademark, #earmuffs for oysters, #insane, #lawsuit monkey, #lawyer, #legal
Transcript
Salesman: Do you mind if I pretend to be helpful while I awkwardly try to upsell you? Dilbert: Nope. Do you mind if I pretend to be listening while I think about other things? Salesman: Cool. Dilbert: I'm glad I don't have your job. Salesman: How old is your refrigerator? Do you like ice?
Thursday July 22,
1993
Tags #lawyer, #Dogbert, #lawsuit
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a table with a lawyer. The lawyer says to Dogbert, "If you do not drop your class action suit, then you'll have to face ME in court." The lawyer continues, "And I've never lost a case." Dogbert says, "Then how do you know you wouldn't enjoy it." The man replies, "Well . . . I just wouldn't." Dogbert says, "Good argument."