Search Results for "lead a horse to water"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #horse drink, #lead a horse to water, #stick a hose, #tape hose in mouth, #horse drink water

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the couch armrest. Dogbert says, "Remember the old saying, Ratbert: you can lead a horse to water . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . But by the time you got there you'd smell like a horse and your butt would hurt." Ratbert asks, "If you stuck a hose in a horse's mouth and taped it there, could you make the horse drink?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah, I've tried it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #market budget, #horse purchase, #top thoroughbread, #broke leg, #starting gate, #shot horse, #sponger sailboat, #lunch, #roast beef sandwhich, #piece of lead

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our director of marketing will give us an update." "We spent our entire marketing budget buying a racehorse." "We named the horse after our flagship product because they're both fast, get it?" "Unfortunately we didn't have enough budget for a top thoroughbred." "Our horse broke its leg walking to the starting gate, so we shot it." "Next year we plan to sponsor a sailboat." "Anyway, your lunch today is brought to you by the marketing department." "Enjoy." "Hey, my roast beef sandwich has a piece of lead in it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2011's comic on:


Tags #groceries & grocery stores, #natural disasters, #saving & investment, #complete meltdown, #financial system, #six months, #Food, #water, #batteries, #gold coins, #light on defensive weapontry, #protein bars, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm preparing for the complete meltdown of our financial system. I've got six months of food and water. I have batteries, flashlights, and gold coins. Alice: I'm prepare too. I have your home address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry. Can you add some protein bars to the shopping list?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #environmental issues, #fracking, #competitors, #headquarters, #pollute water, #generate earthquakes, #fracking awesome

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going to start fracking under our biggest competitors headquarters. My plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes to destroy their campus. The project code name is "fracking awesome." Dilbert: Catchy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #public fountain, #taunt, #thirsty, #cooties, #water, #slurp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks down at a water fountain and says, "I hate this . . . When I'm really thirsty, there always seems to be some disgusting public fountain to taunt me." Dilbert continues, "No doubt this thing is crawling with cooties, and I'll have to wrap my lips around it to slurp the water out." The fountain says, "Hey, I'm not too thrilled about you, either."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #fishing, #water-ski, #brain, #equipment, #strength, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the bank of a stream and casts a fishing pole into the water. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's just man against fish out here, my friend." Dilbert continues, "Although it's a bit of a mismatch, with my superior brain, equipment and strength." Dogbert stands on the bank and says, "Boy, all that and he can water-ski, too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #new york, #hunt, #down, #kill, #them, #water cooler, #scared, #political dynamic

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says to Dilbert, "Hear about the new guy? He's from NEW YORK." Dilbert gulps and another man yells, "Hear he comes!" Dilbert and the two men run screaming. The new guy stands in front of the water cooler and says, "Well, I suppose I could hunt them down and kill them one by one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #brochure, #water, #beautiful, #smart, #healthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's a brochure for my new miracle mineral water spa." Dilbert reads the pamphlet and says, "You claim that the water at our house will make people smart, beautiful and healthy." Dogbert says, "If anybody asks, tell then you don't drink water."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mineral, #water, #spa, #atlantis, #donut, #shop, #customer, #cash

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits behind a cash register and says to a customer, "Welcome to Dogbert's New Age Mineral Water Spa . . . Hand over the cash." Dogbert says, "Hold it . . . The vibes from my crystal tell me we knew each other in a previous life . . . In ATLANTIS!" A man says, "That's what you told the last guy, too." Dogbert replies, "Atlantis was a small town. I ran the only donut shop."