Leader Listens Comic Strips
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125 Results for Leader Listens
View 1 - 10 results for leader listens comic strips. Discover the best "Leader Listens" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 09,
1999
Tags #good leader, #listens emplyees, #laughing on inside, #good time
Transcript
Wally stands in front of The Boss. The Boss says, "A good leader listens to his employees..." Wally stands, The Boss says off-frame, "No matter how much he is laughing on the inside." Wally says, "Maybe this isn't a good time." The boss makes a funny face.
Saturday May 11,
2013
Tags #clear strategy, #fixing, #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #leader listens, #managers & supervisors, #overworked, #resources, #underlings, #underpiad, #business
Transcript
Boss: A good leader listens to his underlings. Alice: Fine. I've overworked and underpaid. I hate my co-workers, I don't have the resources to do my job, and we have no clear strategy. Boss: No wonder leaders listen. It's a lot easier than fixing all of that stuff.
Thursday December 14,
2000
Tags #the succession plan, #leader, #multi viatmin, #safe now, #mixed blessing
Transcript
Noriko watches as The Boss gestures toward Wally and says, "If anything happens to me, Wally will be your leader." Wally thinks, "?" Reaching for her purse, Noriko exclaims to The Boss, "I have a multi-vitamin! Quick, take it!" Noriko listens to The Boss' pulse with a stethoscope while Dilbert massages The Boss' shoulders. The Boss holds a glass of water. Noriko says, "We're safe for now." Wally says, "This turned out to be a mixed blessing."
Friday December 04,
2020
Thought Leader
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #calendar, #assistant, #leader, #delegation, #thought, #work, #hands
Transcript
boss: ask my assistant to put it on my calendar. dilbert: why can't you just put it on your calendar right now? boss: i'm more of a thought leader. i don't like to work with my hands.
Tuesday February 22,
2011
Tags #lawyers & attorneys, #legal advice, #chain reaction, #future visionary leader not being born, #maintenance agreement, #stabbing gandhi
Transcript
Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I need your legal advice." Lawyer says, "There's a risk that this could cause a chain reaction that results in a future visionary leader not being born." Dilbert says, "It's just a maintenance agreement." Lawyer says, "It's like stabbing Gandhi."
Sunday January 08,
2012
Tags #appearences, #big cubicle, #loose weight, #project leader, #status system, #toilet paper holder, #wider cubicle
Transcript
Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.
Monday April 30,
2012
Tags #how-to, #great leader, #book, #errors in book, #disgruntled underling, #existence, #break room
Transcript
Boss: I read a book about how to be a great leader, and realized I don't do any of those things. I'm surprised a book with so many errors could get published. It must have been written by a disgruntled underling. Wally: Do those exist?
Monday July 03,
1989
Tags #crimes, #watch, #neighborhood, #leader
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert stand in the yard. Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, asks, "Are you sure you don't want to join the neighborhood watch group?" Dogbert says, "This is ridiculous. You all know that every single crime in this neighborhood was committed by one guy: Bad Ed." Dilbert says, "We can't actually prove that." Dogbert says, "I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't have elected him group leader."
Thursday October 17,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #democracy, #movement, #charismatic, #leader, #elbonian, #elbonia, #acne, #Men, #trick, #question
Transcript
Dogbert and Dilbert stand on a castle turret. Dilbert looks over the edge and says, "It looks the democracy movement has a new charismatic leader." A man stands in front of a crowd of Elbonians. The man yells, "Give me liberty or give me . . . Uh . . . Back acne." The man yells, "Are we mice or are we men?" An Elbonian woman asks, "Is that a trick question?"
Tuesday September 15,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #charismatic, #leader, #vegetarian, #ranks, #scrawny, #wimps, #deceptively, #healthy
Transcript
A thin man with a mustache and glasses says, "Dogbert, we need you to become the charismatic leader of our vegetarian movement." The man continues, "We tried to pick a leader from our ranks, but most of us are . . . Um . . . Well . . ." Dogbert asks, "Scrawny wimps?" The man replies, "Yeah, but deceptively healthy."