Leadership Training Comic Strips
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
292 Results for Leadership Training
View 1 - 10 results for leadership training comic strips. Discover the best "Leadership Training" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 20,
2000
Tags #division, #unusually profictable, #targets impossibly high, #profit target, #sabotage profits, #stop customers, #wasteful spending, #leadership training, #class, #stick out coffee mug
Transcript
Dilbert, the Boss, and Wally are at a meeting. The Boss says: "Our division is unusually profitable this year." He turns to Dilbert: "That means our targets for next year will be set impossibly high." He turns to Wally: "Our only hope of reaching our profit target next year..." He continues: "...is to sabotage profits for the rest of this year." He explains further: "It's too late to stop customers from buying our products." He continues: "So we'll focus on increasing wasteful spending." The Boss puts his hand on Wally's shoulder and tells him: "Wally, I'm sending you to a leadership training class." After the meeting, Wally sticks out his coffee mug and asks Dilbert, "Did you ever stick out your coffee mug and just follow where it took you?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday February 16,
1997
Tags #leadership seminar, #manager motivates employees, #14 hour days, #filthy sadist, #pointy haired imbecile, #leader, #unpopular decions, #training engineers
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert and Wally grumble as they enter a leadership seminar. The instructor asks, "What would you call a manager who motivates employees to work fourteen hours a day?" Alice answers, "A filthy sadist." Dilbert answers, "Pointy-haired imbecile." The instructor says, "Umm . . . No . . . That's not what I'm looking for." Wally says, "I think he means what do we call him to his face." Alice, Dilbert and Wally answer in unison, "Leader." The instructor says, "Right! And what do you call someone who can make unpopular decisions again and again?" Someone replies, "A filthy sadist?" Another participant says, "Wait, it might be another trick question." The instructor thinks, "I hate training engineers."
Thursday March 01,
2001
Tags #unlock skull, #management training, #twist ears, #moral compass, #deactivate, #leadership, #working weekends, #adjustng, #Dogbert
Transcript
MANAGEMENT TRAINING: Dogbert stands on a stool behind a man sitting in a chair. Dogbert says, "You twist the ears to unlock the skull." The man's skull is open as if a hinge were on the side of his head. Dogbert reaches inside the skull and says, "Find the moral compass and deactivate it." Dogbert replaces the man's skull and says, "The result is something called leadership." The man points in front of him and says, "You're working weekends!"
Monday December 22,
2014
Dilbert Needs To Show Leadership
Tags #criticism, #leadership, #logic, #managers, #project, #team members, #job, #fixed, #responsibility, #business
Transcript
Boss: You need to show more leadership on your project. Dilbert: How do you know my leadership is a problem? Maybe the team members are bad followers. Boss: It's your job to fix it either way. Dilbert: The way you just fixed me with your leadership?
Tuesday January 13,
2015
The Illusion Of Leadership
Tags #absent mindedness, #Advice, #forget, #forgetfulness, #jargon, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #business
Transcript
Boss: I forget why I walked over here. Dilbert: Were you planning to spew empty jargon in my direction to create the illusion of leadership? Boss: Oh, right. But now it feels as if the moment has passed.
Monday October 29,
2018
Training By Osmosis
Tags #the boss, #formal, #training, #job, #absorb, #osmosis, #idiot, #rest, #staff
Transcript
The Boss: We don't have formal training for your job. Just hang around and see if you can absorb it through osmosis. Man: I'm an idiot for taking this job. The Boss: You're already thinking like the rest of the staff!
Thursday February 28,
2019
Mandatory Training
Tags #avoidance, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #training
Transcript
Boss: You haven't finished the mandatory compliance training modules. Alice: I'm waiting for a strategic time to do them. Boss: Oh, okay. Want to go to lunch? Alice: I would love to, but I have training modules to do.
Thursday October 31,
2019
Dogbert's Sensitivity Training
Tags #business, #office workers, #class, #training, #sensitivity, #offend, #kill, #hour
Transcript
dogbert: welcome to dogcart's sensitivity training dogbert passing out papers: today you will learn how to never offend anyone ever again class including dilbert: are you going to kill us? dogbert: no, no, no. after an hour of this class, you'll want to do it yourself.
Tuesday November 12,
2019
Workflow Training
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #system, #technology, #training, #new
Transcript
boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system
Monday October 19,
2020
Training Kicked In
Tags #bathroom, #boring, #business, #face mask, #meeting, #sarcasm, #technology, #training, #coffee
Transcript
wally: that slide deck in yesterday's meeting was lethally boring. luckily, all of my training kicked in. dilbert: and that training taught you to...? wally: go to the bathroom and never return.