Learn On Plane Comic Strips
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165 Results for Learn On Plane
View 1 - 10 results for learn on plane comic strips. Discover the best "Learn On Plane" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 12,
1998
Tags #elbonia, #class in cobol, #learn on plane, #scuba lessons
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer. The Boss stands in the doorway of his cubicle. The boss says, "I'm sending you to Elbonia to teach a class in cobol." Dilbert says, "I don't know cobol." The boss says, "Maybe you can learn it on the plane." Dilbert glares at the Boss over the wall of his cubicle. The Boss walks away. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take some scuba lessons up there too." The Boss thinks, "I'm making my getaway."
Friday March 25,
2011
Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Friday June 03,
2011
Tags #anger, #debates, #internet & world wide web, #outsiurcing, #racist, #restrooms, #debate, #internet, #learn debate, #technology
Transcript
Man: How can you compare outsourcing to our restrooms? Are you a racist? Dilbert: Um... I didn't say anything remotely like that. Did you learn to debate on the Internet? Man: How can you tell?
Saturday August 13,
2011
Tags #annoyance, #public speaking, #questioning, #embrace failures, #learn from them
Transcript
Boss: We must embrace our failures and learn from them. Alice: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Wally: How's the learning coming along?
Friday September 13,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #learn, #primitive, #magazine, #cultures, #new yorker, #reading
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table looking through a National Geographic magazine. Dilbert says, "This magazine is the only way we can learn about primitive cultures." Dogbert asks, "How do they learn about us?" Dilbert points to a photograph and says, "Here's a Pygmy reading 'The New Yorker.'"
Tuesday March 23,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chance, #promoted, #technology, #prima donna, #personality, #disorder, #person, #learn, #dustin, #hoffman, #sean penn, #paparazzi
Transcript
Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "
Tuesday March 04,
1997
Tags #business startegy, #example, #good strategy, #learn, #panty hose, #ratbert the consultant, #walmarts
Transcript
Alice, Ratbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "'Wal-Mart's' business strategy was very successful. You can learn from their example." Alice asks, "Does their strategy involve sitting around and making irrelevant comparisons to other companies?" Ratbert replies, "All I know for sure is that they don't let rats try on all the pantyhose in the store." Wally says, "Good strategy."
Saturday April 05,
1997
Tags #company training, #hope to learn, #bad toupee, #dead animal, #freak of nature, #general
Transcript
The caption says, "Company Training." The instructor stands at the front of the room and says, "Let's go around the room and we'll each say what we hope to learn." Alice, Wally and several other people sit in the audience. Alice says, "I hope to learn whether that thing on your head is a bad toupee, a dead animal, or a hideous freak of nature." The instructor pauses before writing on the easel and asks, "Can I call that 'general'?"
Thursday September 11,
1997
Tags #boss plane crash, #leave early, #mixed feelings, #plane crash, #want cake, #mourn, #celebrate
Transcript
Alice leans into the conference room where Wally and Dilbert are sitting at the table. Alice says, "I just heard that our pointy-haired boss's plane crashed." Wally says, "I must admit I have mixed feelings." Dilbert says, "You don't know if you should mourn or celebrate, right?" Wally says, "No, I mean celebrate or leave early." Asok the Intern walk in wearing a party hat and says, "Hurry if you want some cake."
Saturday September 04,
1999
Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #reduce airline expense, #weed out dumb ones, #sprint across runway, #cling to plane, #takeoff
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."