Leaves Vacuum Comic Strips
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78 Results for Leaves Vacuum
View 1 - 10 results for leaves vacuum comic strips. Discover the best "Leaves Vacuum" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 01,
2008
Tags #anti dilbert, #ahhihilated, #leaves vacuum, #spf50, #garbageman, #Advice
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I created an anti-Dilbert, but I don't know how to prevent him from being annihilated by matter when he leaves the vacuum." The Garbageman says, "If you don't know how to do it, and he's the anti-you, that means he knows how." Anti-Dilbert says, "Matterscreen, SPF 50. Duh."
Saturday November 10,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #orange, #leaves, #Dogbert, #los angeles, #summer, #scream, #die, #traffic, #hear
Transcript
Dilbert reads a travel magazine and says to Dogbert, "This year we should vacation where the leaves turn orange and fall off." Dogbert asks, "Los Angeles in the summer?" Dilbert replies, "No . . . Someplace where they don't scream before they die." Dogbert says, "You can't hear them over the traffic."
Saturday March 25,
1995
Tags #most user freindly, #computer, #pre insatlled, #software, #one button, #leaves factory, #over my head, #tech support number, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert is in a computer retail store. The salesman points to a computer and explains, ". . . but by far, this computer is our most user-friendly." The salesman continues, "The pre-installed software has only one button. And we press it before it leaves the factory." Dilbert asks, "What does it do?" The salesman waves his hands and says, "Whoa! I'm in over my head. Let me give you their tech support number."
Friday August 16,
1996
Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #enough people quit, #best startegy, #convince coworkers, #video, #exact moment, #life force, #leaves body
Transcript
Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."
Thursday May 20,
1999
Tags #almost back, #date, #attach tracking device, #run down alley, #leaves, #different opinions
Transcript
Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."
Wednesday February 25,
2004
Tags #boss, #closes door, #hobby, #hurting boss, #leaves office
Transcript
Wally: "Every time our pointy haired boss leaves his office, I sneak in and seal an air hole." "I'm trying to see if he'll suffocate when he closes his door." "I've never had a hobby before. I can see why people like them."
Friday January 12,
2007
Tags #engineer, #magic vendors fault, #network, #shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #engineering
Transcript
Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.
Saturday January 13,
2007
Tags #product with netork, #run cable through shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #cat 5, #cat 6
Transcript
Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."
Monday December 03,
2007
Tags #next project, #private shuttle, #moon, #innocent tourists, #vacuum of psce, #rationalizations
Transcript
The boss: "Our next project is building a private shuttle to the moon." "Now if you make any mistakes, innocent tourists will perish in the vacuum of space." Dilbert: "We need to work on our rationalizations." Wally: "Is anyone really 'innocent'?"
Wednesday September 04,
2013
Tags #competition (psychology), #ignorance (knowledge), #big tech firms, #hiring people, #prestigious degrees, #hiring idiots, #vacuum up, #hiring accused murderers, #bail
Transcript
Catbert: The big tech firms say they no longer care about hiring people who have prestigious degrees. Obviously, they're trying to sucker the rest of us into hiring idiots while they vacuum up the people from the top schools. CEO: We need to get on this. Catbert: We could say we get good results by hiring accused murderers who are out on bail.