Leaving Tomorrow Comic Strips

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168 Results for Leaving Tomorrow

View 1 - 10 results for leaving tomorrow comic strips. Discover the best "Leaving Tomorrow" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2006's comic on:


Tags #three week vacation, #leaving tomorrow, #vacation, #twice as good

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I'm back from my three-week vacation. "I didn't know you were gone." "Um...I meant I'm leaving tomorrow for my three-week vacation." "How was your vacation?" "Twice as good as I expected!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #employees, #office workers, #worked at home, #work tonight, #leaving early, #work late, #business

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Boss: Leaving early? Dilbert: If you count the two hours I worked at home when I woke up, and the two hours I'll work tonight you'll come out way ahead today. Boss: How will I come out if you do all of that plus work late here?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #roof, #leaking, #fix, #tomorrow, #members, #profession, #unreliable, #quote, #show, #return, #calls, #hired, #nobody, #repeat, #customers

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Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #leaving compnay, #opportunites, #key pharses, #we regret, #years of service, #footnote

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The Boss: "Tim will be leaving the company to pursue other opportunities." "Note the absence of key phrases such as 'we regret' or 'years of dedicated service.' And notice that his new opportunity is not called 'exciting'." Dilbert: "I think you're reading a little too much into that announcement." The Boss: "No, I'm reading the footnote."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #presentation, #tomorrow, #status, #project, #review, #yesterday, #analytical, #stuff

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Dilbert, do a presentation for the big boss tomorrow morning on the status of your project." Dilbert replies, "There isn't any status. You only assigned the project an hour ago." The Boss says, "Well then, do a presentation on why there's no status." Dilbert replies, "I don't have time before tomorrow morning." The Boss says, "Okay, then just do a presentation on why there's no time to do a presentation of the status." The Boss adds, "And I want to review it two days before you present it." Dilbert replies, "That would be yesterday." Dilbert asks, "Should I do a presentation on why tomorrow is less than two days from today?" The Boss replies, "Hmm . . . good. The boss likes that analytical stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #software development work, #impoverished nation, #elbonia, #high quality code, #no risk, #red alert.elbonia, #be computer tomorrow

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I moved our software development work to the impoverished nation of Elbonia." The Boss continues, "I'm brilliant. They write high-quality code for six cents a day! There's no risk!" Dilbert thinks, "Red alert!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian wearing a box on his head says, "Tomorrow, YOU be the computer." Another Elbonian stands in front of him pretending to type on a keyboard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1996's comic on:


Tags #lprodcut complet, #ships tomorrow, #additional features, #marketing department, #customers, #want hardware, #times like this, #psycho path

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Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and another employee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a software box and says, "At long last our product is complete. It ships tomorrow." The other employee says, "That's terrific. I only have a few additional features to add and the marketing department will be happy." The Boss says, "Okay." The Boss continues, "I believe that our customers want hardware, not software." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's times like this I wish I were a psychopath." Dilbert asks, "You're not?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #network administartor, #Dogbert, #good opportunity, #annoy idiots, #start tomorrow, #pager number

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "Why do you want a job as our network administrator, Mister Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I don't like people. This is a good opportunity to annoy idiots such as yourself for my own entertainment." The Boss says, "Wow. You're perfect. Can you start tomorrow?" Dogbert replies, "Sure, as far as you know. I'll give you my pager number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1997's comic on:


Tags #come back, #manager, #moron, #promotions, #raises, #leaving company

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Asok and Alice sit at a table eating lunch. Alice says, "When I was your age, we had things called 'promotions' and 'raises.'" Alice continues, "These days you can only get ahead by leaving the company for a year then coming back as a high-level manager." Asok says, "So the theory must be that anyone who would return to this company is . . ." Alice answers, "A moron. Correct."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #mobster, #rival family, #hit team, #sympathy card, #surprise tomorrow, #write funny song, #burried

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Dilbert sits at the kitchen table with his laptop computer. He says, "Ted's brother was a mobster. Last week he was killed by a rival family's hit team." Dilbert continues, "We got Ted a sympathy card, then it snowballed into a surprise party for tomorrow. My job is to write a funny song." Dogbert starts singing, "For he's a buried good fellow... for he's a buried good fellow... which nobody can deny..." Dilbert says, "Good."