Left Money Comic Strips
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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Here's my invoice for fixing your 'Year 2000' computer problems." The Boss screams so loud that Dogbert is thrown from the office. Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, ". . . So his head spun, but it DIDN'T explode?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. I guess I left some money on the table."
Dogbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Your employees have recommended a vendor who has an attractive salesperson." Dogbert continues, "But the 'Dogbert Technology Company' can provide you with a hardware solution for HALF the cost!" The Boss says excitedly, "I'll save money!" The Boss asks, "What if I need to upgrade later? Is it expensive?" Dogbert replies, "I must have left that price sheet in my other fur."
Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "I gave five hundred dollars to charity this year." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's my moral duty to help those less fortunate." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert asks, "Five hundred dollars? What kind of morality is that?" Dogbert continues, "People are starving and you still have plenty of money left for your hobbies." Dogbert continues, "According to YOUR moral code it's more important for you to have a new computer than for poor people to eat." Dogbert continues, "Morality? Ha! You spent five hundred bucks to ease your own guilt!" Dilbert replies, "And it worked. I feel pretty good." Dilbert asks, "How much did YOU give to charity?" Dogbert replies, "A thousand. That's why I'm so torqued."
Dilbert stands by the door putting his coat on. He asks, "Dogbert, do you think love is the strongest force in the universe?" Dogbert replies as they walk down the front steps, "No, I'd have to go with stupidity." They walk outdoors. Dogbert continues, "Followed closely by it's cousin ignorance." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a fence. Dogbert continues, "Morning breath is number three. Thanks for reminding me." Dogbert continues, "Then you've got selfishness, lust, fear, money and luck." Dilbert asks, "But love is in the top ten, right?" Dogbert replies, "It's fourteenth, right after foolish optimism." Dilbert says, "Someone needs his little round back scratched." Dogbert says, "Do not." Dilbert scratches Dogbert's back and asks, "Where's love now?" Dogbert says, "It'd down and to the left . . . LEFT!! LEFT!! LEFT!! Oowahh . . ."
Alice and Dilbert sit at a table. Wally stands at the table. Wally says, "Happy Birthday Alice!" Dilbert gives Alice a gift. Wally says, "I was planning to get a gift..." Wally continues, "But then I thought...". Alice takes the gift from Dilbert. Wally says, "Why not give the money to a charity in Alice's name?" Alice asks, "Really? Which charity?" Wally says, "Ummm...'The United Society of Poor People with Major Health Problems'." Alice opens Dilbert's gift. Alice says, "...And Dilbert got me an ashtray even though I don't smoke." Dilbert says, "You don't?" Wally and Dilbert sit at the table. Alice's seat is empty. Alice has left her gift on the table. Wally says, "They say this sort of thing builds team spirit." Dilbert says, "It must be gradual."
Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.
Dilbert: This price is too high. Ted: Why do you care? You're spending the company's money, not your own. And the company doesn't care if you live or die. Dilbert: Give me a minutes to think of why that doesn't make sense. Ted: Take as long as you need.