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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #common sense, #school, #todd, #scissors, #russell, #dont, #run, #aaagh, #left handed, #teacher, #hand

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Dogbert hands a man a pair of scissors and says, "Todd, show the class how you hand these scissors to Russell." Dogbert yells, "Don't run! Don't run!" Russell screams. Todd looks down at Russell, who is lying on the floor, and says, "Sorry, Russell. It's the teacher's fault; he didn't even ask if I need left-handed scissors."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1992's comic on:

Tags #left-handed, #elbonians, #take, #change, #light, #bulb, #funnier

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One Elbonian asks another, "How many left-handed Elbonians does it take to change a light bulb?" The Elbonian says, "None! Left-handed Elbonians don't have any light bulbs!" The other Elbonian asks, "What's a light bulb?" The Elbonian replies, "I guess it would be funnier if we knew that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2000's comic on:

Tags #avoid work, #faking coma, #punch repeatedly, #get alice, #right or left handed

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Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #persecuted, #centuries, #righties, #arbitrary, #distinction, #matter, #hand, #favor, #thick, #normal

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Dilbert sits at a table with two Elbonians. One Elbonian says, "We left-handed Elbonians have been persecuted for centuries. We must crush the righties!" Dilbert asks, "Don't you see that it's only an arbitrary distinction? Isn't it obvious that people are the same no matter what hand they favor?" The Elbonian replies, "No, that isn't obvious to us at all." Dilbert waves his right hand and says, "Geez, you lefties are thick. I'm glad I'M normal."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1993's comic on:

Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #outdoors, #activity

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says, "I can't remember if I'm left-handed or right-handed." Ratbert says, "I live in fear that I'll be walking in the park, someone will toss me a ball and I'll look . . . awkward." Ratbert lies underneath a ball. The person who threw the ball says, "Nice catch, rat." Ratbert asks, "Really? It didn't look awkward?"

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Brainstorming App Ideas

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Brainstorming App Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2015's comic on:

Tags #ideas, #brainstorm, #idea, #thinking, #criticism, #judge, #judging, #technology, #invention, #judgment, #legal

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Dilbert: Today we will brainstorm app ideas for our smart watch. The only rule is "no judging." Wally: How about an app that makes you left-handed. Are you judging me now or were you being insincere before.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2017's comic on:

Tags #conversation, #delay, #frustration, #interpersonal communication

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Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!