Leveraging Platforms Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

9 Results for Leveraging Platforms

View 1 - 9 results for leveraging platforms comic strips. Discover the best "Leveraging Platforms" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2007's comic on:

Tags #corporate strategy, #plan, #consistent, #leveraging platforms, #rewrite plan, #pretend to follow

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Is your plan consistent with our corporate strategy?" Dilbert: "How would I know?" The Boss: "Don't you know our strategy?" Dilbert: "No. Do you?" The Boss: "Of course I do. It's something about leveraging our platforms." "Does your plan leverage our platforms?" Dilbert: "No, but I can rewrite my plan so it seems as if it does." The Boss: "Good. Go back and do that." "There's no point in having a strategy if you aren't going to pretend to follow it."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2002's comic on:

Tags #michael t. suit, #core competencies, #platforms, #did we shake?

View Transcript

Transcript

A headless, handless man says to Dilbert, "Hi. My name is Michael T. Suit. All my friends call me M.T." M.T. continues, "I enhance core competencies by leveraging platforms." Dilbert is gone. M.T. continues, "Did we shake yet? Sometimes I can't tell."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2012's comic on:

Tags #being freightened, #creepy vibe, #leadership, #obsolete, #public speaking, #sense of urgency, #thread the needle, #tech platforms

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #author, #book, #signing, #autograph, #copy, #bobby mcnewton, #child star, #sixties, #leave it to beaver, #leveraging, #fame, #promote, #recipe, #walnuts, #milk, #pork, #pig, #corpse, #ghost writer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks by a bookstore. A sign in the window says, "Book signing today." A man at a table asks, "Would you like an autographed copy?" Dogbert asks, "Who are you?" The author replies, "I'm Bobby McNewton, child-star from the Sixties. I once had a speaking part on 'Leave it to Beaver.'" Bobby continues, "I'm leveraging my fame to promote my recipe book." The book is titled "Bobby McNewton's Cooking With Walnuts." Dogbert opens the book and reads, "'Walnuts and Milk: Crush walnuts on table. Pour milk on walnuts. Serve cold.'" Dogbert reads, "'Walnuts and Pork: Kill a pig. Cook dead pig. Sprinkle walnuts on pig's corpse.'" Bobby says, "I used a ghost writer." Dogbert asks, "Was he a ghost before he ate your food?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1997's comic on:

Tags #bullet point, #monthly accomplishments, #leveraged synergy, #technology platforms

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I need a bullet point for your monthly accomplishments, Wally." Wally replies, "Put me down for, 'Leveraged synergy across all technology platforms.'" Dilbert says, "That was your accomplishment last month." Wally replies, "It's more of a journey than a destination."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

Wow! You're a decorated army combat veteran. "That's the kind of toughness we need around here. You're hired!" "Then we'll have a pre-meeting to discuss leveraging our synergies to productize our content." "GAAA!!!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2010's comic on:

Tags #meetings, #question, #nonsense, #optimize, #value stream, #surprise, #talk, #listening

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Are you leveraging our resources to optimize the client value stream?" Asok says, "What?" Wally says, "I'm just messing with you? Nothing I say in meetings actually means anything." Asok says, "Then why do you talk?" Wally says, "I tried listening once. It was awful."

Can't Remember Wally's Project

Thank you for voting.
Can't Remember Wally's Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2018's comic on:

Tags #language, #jargon, #obliviousness, #bluff, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't remember what project you're working on. Wally: I'm integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks. Boss: Keep doing that. I can never tell when I'm having a good day.

Social Media Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Social Media Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2019's comic on:

Tags #control, #social media, #selfie, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...