Dogbert stands at a table wearing a chef's hat. He says to Dilbert, "You're just in time to taste my new cake." Dilbert says, "Yum." Dilbert eats the cake and says, "Great cake, but shouldn't it have frosting?" Dogbert replies, "Oh no! Frosting is very bad for you." Dilbert walks away saying, "Gee, I never knew that frosting was bad for me." Dogbert says, "That's why I licked it all off."
"Dogbert the Publisher"
"Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs."
"Your plot was lame and I hated your characters. And by association I have come to hate you too."
"For safety reasons, I hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript. I would use the return envelope you provided but I'm afraid you might have licked the stamps."