Lie To Media Comic Strips
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223 Results for Lie To Media
View 1 - 10 results for lie to media comic strips. Discover the best "Lie To Media" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 11,
2002
Tags #boost revenues, #offshore, #subsidary, #lie to media, #criminal activity, #gag a rat, #corruption
Transcript
Dilbert, Ratbert, and Bob the Dinosaur are meeting. Dogbert says, "We'll artificially boost revenues by selling to our own offshore subsidiary." Dogbert continues, "Then we'll book our expenses to capital, lie to the media about our prospects, bribe an industry analyst, and cash out!" Ratbert grabs his own throat and gags, "Aak, Aak, Aak." Dogbert says, "I know I'm doing something right when my business practices gag a rat."
Friday May 15,
2015
Alice Uses Social Media
Tags #social media, #twitter, #careers, #competition, #deception, #trick, #flame, #internet, #technology
Transcript
Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!
Monday June 01,
2015
Boss And Social Media
Tags #social media, #twitter, #facebook, #passion, #deception, #trick, #prank, #obliviousness, #technology
Transcript
Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.
Thursday October 29,
2015
Human Contact Through Social Media
Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.
Wednesday September 12,
2018
Social Media Ads To Influence
Tags #Dilbert, #brain-reading, #computer, #social media, #profile, #friends, #testing, #influence, #cyborg, #ridiculous, #phone
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.
Saturday February 09,
2019
Social Media Mind Control
Tags #control, #social media, #selfie, #smartphone
Transcript
Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...
Tuesday August 18,
2020
Social Media Poisoning
Tags #health, #medical, #doctor, #social media, #poison, #defensive, #angry, #self-control, #weight, #pounds, #shaming, #fat, #over reaction
Transcript
dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!
Tuesday November 10,
2020
Ted Liked A Tweet
Tags #employment, #managers & supervisors, #fired, #business, #twitter, #tweet, #hacked, #technology, #social media, #file, #lie, #plausible, #liked, #unacceptable
Transcript
boss: ted, i have to fire you for liking an unacceptable tweet seven years ago on twitter. ed: it..it..wasn't me. someone hacked my account, or maybe my finger slipped. boss: which lie do you want me to put in your file? ted: did either of them sound plausible?
Sunday March 07,
2021
Fired For Social Media
Tags #social media, #business, #technology, #employment, #fire, #offensive, #bad, #people, #twitter, #issues, #context, #sides, #associate, #monsters
Transcript
boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.
Monday February 14,
2011
Tags #media, #take pledge, #give fortune to charity, #billionaires, #200 million, #leave to heir, #semi relayed, #monkey dna, #clones test tube, #Entertainment
Transcript
CEO MONKEY: The media is asking if you'll take the pledge to give your fortune to charity. CEO: That pledge is for billionaires! I only have $200 million to leave to my heir! On a semi-relayted notem find out who keep putting monkey DNA in my clones test tube.