Lied. Boss Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Lied. Boss

View 1 - 10 results for lied. boss comic strips. Discover the best "Lied. Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posterior, #fat ass, #chair, #prnak, #lied boss, #like goldfish, #big charis, #big ass

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of the Boss' desk and says, "My posterior is growing to fit the size of my chair." The Boss asks, "Is that possible?" Alice replies, "Posteriors are like goldfish. They grow to the limit of their environment." The Boss replies, "That's ridiculous. I have the biggest chair. That would mean..." Alice quickly says, "Forget I brought it up. Well, back to work." Wally and Dilbert stand looking over the wall of a cubicle. Alice walks by and Dilbert asks, "Mission report?" Alice replies, "Success." Alice rubs her hands together and says, "The glue on his chair should be set by now." The Boss walks down the hall with his desk chair stuck to him. He thinks, "I guess this is why goldfishes don't use chairs."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #car, #late, #cold, #car wouldn't start, #warm out, #wind chill factor, #no actual car, #lied. boss, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: I'm late because my car wouldn't start in the cold. The boss; Its warm outside. allyL theres a little thing called the wind chill factor. Hello - o - o -o!! Dilbert: that was wrong on many levels. wally: Someday Im gotta get a car.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project plan, #without input, #lied to me, #skipped that step, #already assigned blame, #for failure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cutomers, #delivery, #business, #took money, #winner, #lied

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "A customer keeps asking when we'll deliver the stuff they bought." The Boss asks, "When will we?" Dilbert responds, "Never, you lied to them to get their business." Dilbert continues, "You took their money and gave them nothing. Do you know what that makes you?" The Boss exclaims, "The winner!"

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #double standard, #employee, #hierarchy, #lunch, #rank, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Making Your Boss Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Making Your Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #ego, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You did this wrong. Dilbert: That's how you trained me to do it. Bob: You need to learn to take responsibility for my mistakes. It's called "making your boss look good". Dilbert: Maybe you could help a little too.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Fyi Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fyi Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.