Like A Bird Comic Strips
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1000 Results for Like A Bird
View 1 - 10 results for like a bird comic strips. Discover the best "Like A Bird" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 03,
1996
Tags #hit market window, #ride market research, #technical testing, #overhead, #like a bird, #hit window
Transcript
Alice, the Boss and Dilbert stand at a conference table looking at a document. The Boss says, "We'll have to eliminate a few steps in order to hit the market window." The Boss continues, "I think we can get rid of market research and technical testing. They're basically 'overhead.'" The Boss writes on the chart and says, "Gone! Now we'll hit the window!" Dilbert says, ". . . Like a bird."
Thursday July 07,
1994
Tags #ratbert, #birds and bees, #get stung, #birds, #humming bird, #sex with birds, #words to say
Transcript
Ratbert: "Dogbert told me about the birds and the bees." "The bee part confuses me. It seems like I'd get stung." "And as for birds, I just wouldn't know the words to say." Dilbert: "Try a humming bird."
Sunday July 23,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #bird, #Dilbert, #window, #force field
Transcript
Dogbert stands inside the house looking out the window. A bird flies into the window and bounces off. The bird knocks on the door. Dogbert answers the door and the bird says, "Excuse me, mammal. Would you please lower your invisible force field so I can fly through?" Dogbert replies, "That's no force field; that's a window." The bird enters the house and says, "Oh, worms! I'm always making that mistake. We birds can be pretty stupid sometimes." Dilbert says, "Hi, little bird. You look thirsty. Would you like some water?" The bird replies, "Sure." Dogbert says, "Don't put it in a glass; he might beat his brains out with it."
Sunday February 17,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bird, #alive, #car, #resist, #old, #smoe, #blob, #little, #brain
Transcript
Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."
Sunday June 05,
1994
Tags #engineer, #shut down factory, #ethical, #make film, #empowered, #more women in management, #down for day, #ego booster, #endangered bird, #parking lot, #engineering
Transcript
"From now on, any engineer can shut down our factory for any reason." "Later we'll film a commercial about how ethical and empowered you are." "Ha! Give me a raise, Tubby, or the factory's going down!" "You can't shut it down, I'm shutting it down until more women are in top management." "I'd like to shut it down for a day, just as an ego booster. Is Tuesday good?" "Didn't any of you hear that there's an endangered bird living in the parking lot??" "I think I parked on it this morning." "Can we get back to the point?"
Friday August 21,
2020
5 G Gives You A Bird Head
Tags #business, #technology, #social media, #bird head, #study, #apathy, #5g
Transcript
dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.
Wednesday April 06,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #information overload, #libertarian, #taxidermist, #hand hole, #work, #like puppet, #creepy, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."
Sunday April 24,
2011
Tags #fraternization, #joking, #agenda, #know anything, #important he is, #like his jokes, #late for dinner, #jokes, #table, #meeting, #laughter, #business
Transcript
Boss: The first thing on the agenda... Dilbert: Hold on. I don't know anything about this guy. Boss: What's the difference? Dilbert: I need to know how important he is. Should I pretend to like his jokes? Should I nod in agreement no matter what he says? Man: You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner. Dilbert: Ha ha ha ha ha!! I hope I didn't waste that.
Saturday February 05,
2011
Tags #embarrassment, #frustration, #like an idiot, #simple solution, #stumping dilbert, #gladly explin, #look like an idiot
Transcript
Man says, "There is a very simple solution to the problem that is stumping Dilbert." Man says, "I will gladly explain it to him after this meeting." Dilbert says, "You're probably wrong, and yet you still made me look like an idiot." Man says, "I win!"
Tuesday October 18,
2011
Tags #copyright & trademark, #inventions, #competitor suing, #albanian court, #design trademark, #block manufacturing, #shaped like rectangle, #design shapes, #irregular mole
Transcript
Man: Our competitor is suing us in an Elbonian court for some sort of design trademark violation. They're trying to block us from manufacturing anything shaped like a rectangle. Boss: What design shapes are available? Man: Only one, assuming "irregular mole" is a shape.