Search Results for "live"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
1 - 10 of 128

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 2012's comic on:

Tags #computers & peripherals, #inventions, #computers, #program themsleves, #machine intelligence, #destroy civilization, #plan a, #live unhealthy, #lifestyle, #plan b, #techno terrorism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In a few years, computers will program themselves. That's called singularity. From that point on, machine intelligence will increase exponentially. The resulting shock will probably destroy the fabric of civilization. Plan "A" is to live an unhealthy lifestyle. Plan "B" is techno-terrorism. Boss: I like the first one.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2012's comic on:

Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1990's comic on:

Tags #geraldo, #cult, #television, #live television, #Dogbert, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Geraldo Rivera holds a microphone and says, "Today on 'Geraldo' our entire show is about a dog who started his own cult!" Dogbert says into the microphone, "Actually, Geraldo, I don't know what you're talking about." Geraldo faces the camera and smiles. Dogbert says, "I love live television."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #andy, #andy the android, #live, #Dogbert, #bored

View Transcript

Transcript

Andy: As an android, I will live forever. Ha ha ha! I'm bored.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #elbonians, #communist, #elbonia, #religious, #ways, #sky, #sign, #long, #live, #doug

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert lies in a bed recovering from his crash and two Elbonians sit beside the bed. One Elbonian says, "Elbonia was communist for forty years . . . We forgot our religious ways." The Elbonian continues, "When you fell from the sky I knew it was a sign from . . . Uh . . . Uh . . . Uh . . ." The other Elbonian asks, "Doug?" The Elbonian cries, "Long live Doug!!"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #high school, #yearbook, #brings, #memories, #dopey, #noober, #flagpole, #live, #frogs, #pants, #principal, #happiest, #guy, #ever, #known

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert leans against the hassock looking at a yearbook. Dilbert says, "This high school yearbook really brings back the memories." Dilbert shows Dogbert the yearbook and says, "There's Dopey Bobby Noober. Every day we'd tie him to the flagpole and stuff live frogs in his pants." Dogbert asks, "Where is he now?" Dilbert replies, "He's still the principal . . . Not the happiest guy I've ever known."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 1992's comic on:

Tags #larry king, #live, #dog, #sexy, #beer, #commercial, #angry, #feminist, #encourage, #Women, #sex, #objects, #views, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Larry King sits at a table and says into the microphone, "Tonight on 'Larry King Live' we have a dog who makes sexy beer commercials, plus an angry feminist." The woman points to Dogbert and says, "His commercials encourage discrimination against women by portraying us all as sex objects." Dogbert asks the woman, "Are you saying men are so dumb, they get their views on life from beer commercials?" The woman crosses her arms and says, "I call them like I see them."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1992's comic on:

Tags #friendship, #strategy, #Dogbert, #financial, #advisor, #live, #lifelong, #bond, #trust, #money, #churn

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "Hi! I want to be your financial advisor." The man continues, "I've come to live with you. We'll eventually form a lifelong bond of trust and friendship." Dogbert says angrily, "I liked better when you guys just took our money." The man says, "I recommend a strategy called 'Churn.'"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1997's comic on:

Tags #policies, #use prodcuts, #will to live, #new corporate policy, #not intended to punish

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, Asok and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new corporate policy is that all employees must use the products we sell." Asok screams and shouts, "What have we done to deserve this??!!!" Asok asks Wally, "So you're saying that many of these policies are NOT intended to be punishments?" Wally replies, "You get used to it after you lose your will to live."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 1997's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #bearer, #bad news, #doctor, #six months to live, #nose job, #mix up, #hospital, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

A man lies in a hospital bed with a bandage on his nose. Dogbert stands on the bed and says, "Your doctor asked me to tell you that you have six months to live." The patient says, "There must be a mistake. I'm here for a nose job." Dogbert checks a document and says, "Oh, you're right . . . I wondered why that last guy was so happy when I told him he'd have one huge nostril for the next forty years."