Dilbert: "These constant reorganizations do not take into consideration the needs of the employees."
The Boss: "I've decided to use you for spare parts. Your liver will be sent to Jose in accounting, immediately."
Dilbert: "Jose has a bad liver?"
The boss: "No, but why take a chance?"
Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business.
My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos.
Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso?
Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.
"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding."
"I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking."
"By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack."
"My career just reached an all time low."
"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos."
"But that looks like a slab of liver."
"This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!"
"Wow, you guys are good debaters."
Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"
Dilbert says, "Your software services contract is too confusing for any normal human to comprehend." Dilbert says, "And it wouldn't be cost- effective to involve our attorneys for a deal so small." Dilbert says, "So I'll just take chance and sign it." Man says, "Doc... scrub in. I got the liver."
