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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #buying, #tobacco, #lobby, #Politics, #anti-smoking, #facists, #media, #sex, #appeal, #positive

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Dogbert and his senator sit across from a woman whose head is surrounded by cigarette smoke. There is a full ashtray on the desk. The senator has a "Sale" sign on his head. The woman says, "Mister Dogbert, the tobacco lobby is very interested in buying your senator." The woman continues, "We've been taking a beating from the anti-smoking fascists. I blame the media." The woman continues, "What we need is more attention on the positive aspects of smoking . . . Like sex appeal." The smoke clears and reveals the woman's ugly, withered head. Dogbert says, "Yes, sir."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1992's comic on:

Tags #resources, #cow, #egg, #lobby, #counter, #lates, #vegetarians, #health, #link, #Food, #nutrition, #pyramid, #school, #Kids, #different, #learned

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A large man behind a desk says to two overweight men, "We must use all of the resources of the 'Cow and Egg' lobby to counter the latest threat from the vegetarians." The man continues, "Somehow they've managed to link food with health . . . They invented a 'nutrition pyramid' chart and got schools to use it . . ." A teacher points to a chart and says, "Kids, this is a little different from the way I learned it . . ." Meat, milk and beer are at the top of the pyramid and are labeled "bad." The next levels on the pyramid are gravel, bugs; beans, tofu; fruits, vegetables; bread, cereal, grains.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1994's comic on:

Tags #proposal, #alternatives, #lobby government, #tax breaks, #idiot run businesses, #quit job, #new career, #handing out towels, #cow chips, #bull shit

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The boss: Your proposal doesn't address the alternatives. Dilbert: There aren't any reasonable alternatives. The boss: There are always alternatives! Give me alternatives!! No wonder nothing gets done around here - not enough alternatives. typing: "we could lobby the government to give tax breaks to all idiot run businesses" "I could quit this stupid job and start a new career handing out towels at the gym" "Or we could use cow chips instead of microchips and save millions" The Boss: whats a cow chip? Dilbert: This job would be an example.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2001's comic on:

Tags #all night flight, #came to work, #usual, #jeopardize, #missing work, #park in lobby, #out of it, #disheveled

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A frazzled-looking Alice says to The Boss, "My flight took all night but I still came to work on time as usual." Alice continues, "I didn't want to jeopardize the company by missing work." A male co-worker says to Alice, "You're not allowed to park in the lobby." Alice yells, "Since when?!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2002's comic on:

Tags #glass walled conference room, #main lobby, #fish bowl, #attractive employees, #send opinion, #convene tribunal

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Dilbert says to Carol, "Carol, I need to reserve the glass-walled conference room by the main lobby." Carol replies, "The 'Fish Bowl' is only available to attractive employees. We don't want to scare visitors." Dilbert says, "I want a second opinion." Carol replies, "Very well. I'll convene the tribunal of admin assistants."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2003's comic on:

Tags #unimportant project, #inspirational quotes, #lobby walls, #eagle

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The Boss approaches Wally and says, "I have an unimportant project, so I thought of you." The Boss continues, "Find a bunch of inspirational quotes that we can put on the lobby walls." Wally types, "If being an eagle is such a good idea, why are there so few of them?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2003's comic on:

Tags #collecting quotes, #cubilce, #freakish waste, #inspirational quotes, #lobby wall, #over elevators

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Wally approaches Alice and says, "I've been asked to collect inspirational quotes for the lobby wall." Alice responds, "Get out of my cubicle, you freakish waste of carbon." Wally writes down Alice's quote as he walks away and thinks, "That'll look good over the elevators."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2003's comic on:

Tags #cannibals, #inspirational quotes, #lobby wall, #hands on stomach

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Wally hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "As requested, I pulled together some inspirational quotes for our lobby wall." The Boss reads the list and says, "Hannibal Lector... The Donner Party... Uh.. Wally, most of these people are cannibals." Wally puts his hand on his stomach and says, "It was probably a mistake to do this assignment on an empty stomach."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2005's comic on:

Tags #new director, #first impressions, #office in lobby, #nearest growler, #directions, #information booth, #directs

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The Boss: Carol, I'm making you our new director of first impressions pro team! Carol: My years of hard work have finally paid off! Im a dierctor! Carol: Why is my office in the lobby? Can you direct me ti the nearest growler?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2010's comic on:

Tags #angry, #annoyed, #complain, #feng shui, #lobby, #mirror, #workplace energy, #desk, #angle, #give the finger, #flip the bird, #chi

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Wally says, "Who's the idiot that put a mirror in the lobby? That's bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I keep trying to work, but all of our workplace energy is getting reflected right back out to the sidewalk." Wally says, "And the way your desk is angled is totally flipping me the chi bird!"