Long Nose Comic Strips
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434 Results for Long Nose
View 1 - 10 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 14,
2001
Tags layoff planning, fire people, creeps, excessive nose haor, called doctor, five minute meeting
Transcript
Caption reads: "Layoff Planning." Catbert sits with the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "Let's fire all the people who give us the creeps..." "...All the people with excessive nose hair and anyone who insists on being called 'doctor.'" Carol enters into the cubicle of a man with long nose hair and bug eyes. She says, "You've got a five-minute meeting on Friday, Dr. Wolfington."
Thursday April 08,
2010
Tags pinocchio, nose grows, long nose, doctor, exam, stethoscope, lies, powerpoint, proboscis, nose through head, pain, medical
Transcript
Doctor says, "You have a wicked case of sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis." Doctor says, "Your nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." Asok says, "Sorry. The sales forecast seemed optimistic."
Friday April 09,
2010
Tags powerpoint proboscis, medical condition, nose grows, long nose, lie, pinocchio, close eyes, grit teeth, nose through face, pain, sting, clench fists
Transcript
Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."
Saturday April 10,
2010
Tags powerpoint proboscis, medical condition, nose grows, long nose, lie, pinocchio, garbage man, Advice, corporate whistle-blower, nose through garbage bag
Transcript
Asok says, "My nose grows when my co-workers tell lies." Garbage man says, "Does it whistle?" Asok says, "Sometimes, a little bit." Garbage man says, "You're evolving into a corporate whistle-blower." Asok says, "Are you lying?" Garbage man says, "Yeah, I just wanted to see it."
Saturday April 23,
2011
Tags announcements, committee decided, file naming, month, year, day, space, temperature, airport, hat size, long meeting, best work
Transcript
Ted: The committee decided that the file naming convention will start with the date, in the order of month, year, day... then a space, then the temperature at the airport, and the hat size of the nearest squirrel. To be perfectly honest, it was a long meeting and we probably didn't do our best work toward the end.
Tuesday September 06,
2011
Tags office workers, job interview, work long hours, 14 hour days, bad descions, bad decision maker, good communicator
Transcript
Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?
Friday September 09,
2011
Tags keep brain out, laziness, long and complicated, technical recommendation, thinking, make decision
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my technical recommendation? Boss: No. It's too long and complicated. Dilbert: How do you plan to make a decision without reading it? Boss: I'll use my gut. Dilbert: It's probably a good idea to keep your brain out of this. Boss: Quiet! It's saying something. Noise: GROWL.
Wednesday October 19,
2011
Tags anger, food werewolf, too long, no food, werewolf
Transcript
Alice: We'd better wrap up this meeting because Jenny is a food werewolf. Dilbert: What? Alice: When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. It might be too late. Werewolf: YA THINK?
Tuesday February 28,
2012
Tags collaboration tools, human contact, internet & world wide web, judegment, long term goal, meetings, suite of tools
Transcript
Wally: I'm designing a suite of internet collaboration tools. It's part of my long-term goal to eliminate all forms of direct human contact. Co-worker: That's messed up. Wally: You're exactly what I'm trying to avoid.
Tuesday June 26,
2012
Tags apple, consumer prodcuts, lust after products, magic, magic dust, nose, smell, technology
Transcript
Dogbert: This is the magic dust that Apple puts on all of its consumer products to make you lust after them. I wouldn't sniff it if I were you. Terrific. Now I feel compelled to get a nose like yours for no rational reason.