Dogbert: I'm forming a rebel army. Ratbert: Count me in! What are we fighting for? Dogbert: You'll be fighting for social justice and I'll be scheming to become an iron-fisted dictator. In the long run, I'll be a billionaire and you'll be a stain on a tank tread. Ratbert: Please, please say there will be looting.
"I have the results of the employee morale survey."
"The number one issue is 'not enough open and honest communication from management.'"
"Well, okay. I'm willing to give that a try."
"Management is looting the company while hiding the fact that we're in a death spiral."
"Whenever you talk, I think about fishing lures until the noise stops."
"When I see an employee suffer, it excites me in ways I don't understand."
"On nine separate occasions I've fired bald guys because I thought they were you."
"If this doesn't work for you. Let me know on next employee morale survey."