Lost Of Media Comic Strips
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Dogbert, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dogbert says, "The business plan for your start-up is idiotic but I'm going to provide the venture capital funding anyway." Dogbert continues, "We'll generate lots of media hype, go public and make millions by shafting greedy and ignorant investors." Dogbert continues, "The Latin word for 'close your eyes and open your mouth' is 'prospectus.'" Wally says, "This is exactly why I'm afraid of dogs."
Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!
Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.
Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.
Robot: Elon Musk is warning the world that A.I. could be a threat to humankind. Dilbert: We humans won't go without a fight! Robot: Look at this viral video on social media. Dilbert: Hee hee! What were we talking about before? Robot: You were mistakenly believing you haven't already lost the war.
Dilbert: My brain-reading computer is checking your social media profile and finding your friends. I am now testing social media posts to see which ones influence them to recommend that to you date a cyborg. Woman: That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever. Dilbert: check your phone.
Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...
dilbert in doctor's office. dilbert: i think i have social media poisoning. it makes me feel defensive and angry all the time, but i can't quit. doctor: you've gained five pounds. dilbert yelling: you fat-shaming quack!
boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.
Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.