Love Interviewing Comic Strips
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CEO: "Alice, your resume is impressive." "Tell me why you want to be promoted to management." Alice: "Well. Obviously there's the money and prestige." "I'm also attracted by the prospect of doing much less work." "The opportunity to abuse subordinates is a big plus." "And I speak fluent Managerese. Watch this..." "Fuh fuh fuh fuh fuh" Dilbert: "Did you really want that job?" Alice: "No, but I love interviewing!"
Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.
Man says, "Thanks for spending the day itnerviewing with us. I can now reveal the vature of the job and the salary range." Dilbert says, "You know my current salary and yet you wasted my entire day interviewing me for a job that pays less. You are either evil or inconsiderate." Man says, "So... not as good as your current job?" Dilbert says, "It's a tie. I'll need to test the commute one more time."
Dilbert sits at his desk writing a poem. Dogbert approaches and asks, "How's that poem coming?" Dilbert says, "Pretty good, but I may have written myself into a corner." Dogbert says, "Let's hear." Dilbert says, "All I have so far is 'Her love was like a wave-division multiplexor.'" Dogbert says, "Maybe just go for the big finish."
Dilbert sits at his desk writing and Dogbert watches him. Dilbert says, "I'm writing a poem for a woman I just met. Women love poems." Dilbert reads the poem entitled, "Your Legs." Dilbert reads, "How wonderful your legs are, / You can even ask my mutt . . ." Dilbert continues to read, "'Cause if you didn't have 'em, / the ground would hit your butt."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And women have always played hard to get . . ." The caption says, "Dilbert and Eve." Dilbert and Eve stand behind a bush. Dilbert asks, "Then how about a date next year?" Eve replies, "I'd love to, but I don't have a thing to wear." Both of them are naked.
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to him taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . And I've had this irrational love for hardware stores as long as I can remember." Dilbert continues, "I mean . . I LOVE them. I ACTUALLY love them. You gotta help me, doc." The psychiatrist says, "I've heard of this . . . I think the literature refers to it as 'a stupid guy-thing.'"
Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters his cubicle and asks, "May I borrow your pen for a minute?" Dilbert says to his pen, "Farewell, little friend. You have always been true. May the wind be at your back. I . . . I . . . Love you . . ." Wally hands the pen back to Dilbert and says, "Uh . . . Could I borrow one which you've had less of a personal relationship with?" Dilbert asks, "How about Brenda?"
The janitor says to Dilbert, who has fallen asleep on his desk, "Hey, mister, wake up!" Dilbert picks his head up and says, "Huh?" The janitor says, "It was all a dream! You're not a dumpy engineer -- you're really a playboy millionaire movie star!!" Dilbert says, "I . . . I am??" The janitor says as he walks away, "I love being the night janitor." Dilbert asks, "Then why do I dress like this?"
Dilbert's clothes are disheveled and he has lipstick marks all over his head. Dogbert asks, "What happened to you?" Dilbert replies, "Kitty Kelly was here to write your biography. She was all over me. I think she took my watch." Dogbert says, "I never trust anybody named 'Kitty.'" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I think I love her."