Low Raises Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

325 Results for Low Raises

View 1 - 10 results for low raises comic strips. Discover the best "Low Raises" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags raises, percentage raises, dont discuss, humilaiting, low raises, wages, money

View Transcript

Transcript

"Please don't discuss your raise with co-workers." "Whatever." "Let's see how the losers and morons did." "You only got 6%? I got 8%." "9%. Why do you ask?" "7.5%. Anything less would be humiliating." "Well, let me see...I think it was..." "Brace for impact." "8.5%" "GAAA!!" "Has she yet learned why it is a bad idea to discuss her raise with co-workers?" "Sounds like it."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags one year project, boss three months, great confidence, padded estimate, hate guts, keep raises low, dip in motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert follows the Boss into his office and says, "I told you this project would take a year. But on my objectives you say I must have it done in three months." Dilbert continues, "Which of these reasons best describes why: A. You have great confidence in me. B. You think I padded my estimate. C. You hate my guts." The Boss responds, "We don't really need the project. It's just a way to keep raises low." Dilbert says, "I just felt a little dip in my motivation."

Low Self Esteem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, relationships, low, self-esteem, hate, performance, problem, hear, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job. dilbert: that's not my problem. employee: oh, it will be. it will be. dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hold press conference, introduce cold fusion, breakthrough, lightbulb, wires plugged, low opinion, jar with frosted glass, overkill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, ignorance (knowledge), low hanging fruit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Low-hanging fruit! OW! Dilbert: See? Wally: Wow.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags losers, meetings, sales personnel, sell to customers, winners sell, low quota levels, ch ching dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags despair, recessions, unemployment, fix your lips, job satisfaction, all time low

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Oh no! Employee job satisfaction is at an all-time low at the same time unemployment is high! Boss: Ha ha! Good one. Now it's my turn to try saying it as if I care! Oh no! Catbert: Ha ha! Fix your lips!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, public speaking, let slide, power point, presentation, bored, sleeping audience, low expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low margin lines, high risk, start up, lumbering inefficiencies, buy in

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, the boss, profits, low, training, class, cute, jumpy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Dilbert, profits are too low. I've got to let you go . . ." Dilbert says, "What!!" The Boss continues, ". . . To a training class." The Boss walks away thinking, "They're so cute when they get jumpy."