Low Sales Comic Strips

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355 Results for Low Sales

View 1 - 10 results for low sales comic strips. Discover the best "Low Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags transfer sales dept, scapegoat, make useless pordcuts, low sales, good prodcuts, perfect wrld

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The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags losers, meetings, sales personnel, sell to customers, winners sell, low quota levels, ch ching dance

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Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales bonus level, happy, smile, employee, salesman, too low

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The Boss says, "Ken, you've almost reached your sales bonus level with time to spare." The Boss says, "Obviously I set your bonus threshold too low. I'll need to adjust it upward retroactively." Ken says, "Maybe I'm just a great salesperson!" The Boss says, "That's the spirit! Stay hungry!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags average person, offer low prices, prices, products on sale, raising prices, smart enough

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CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags selfishness, rudeness, sales, internet, confusion, sabotage, business, technology

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The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."

Weak Sales Reorg

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Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, money, golden parachute, greed, logic, sales, business

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Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Sales Is Blaming Marketing

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Sales Is Blaming Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales, responsibility, blame, business

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Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.

Sales To Elbonia

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Sales To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, government policy, sales, sale, elbonia, government, ban, accomplices

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boss: i'm happy to announce that we just made a huge sale in elbonia. dilbert: are you aware that last week our government banned all sales to elbonia? boss: before you go blabbing that all over the place remember that all of you are accomplices.

Pandemic Sales

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Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, high, pandemic, virus, deadly, profit, conscience, feelings

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boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

Low Self Esteem

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Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, relationships, low, self-esteem, hate, performance, problem, hear, sarcasm

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employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job. dilbert: that's not my problem. employee: oh, it will be. it will be. dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?