"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill."
"Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?"
"I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"
tina: i don't want to sit too near your 5G phone prototype. i worry that it will fry my eggs.
boss: don't be silly. this phone was extensively tested for safety by qualified experts.
boss to dogbert: i need you to test this 5G phone for safety.
dogbert at desk labeled "low-cost testing: it looks fine to me. i'll email you my bill.
employee: my low self-esteem is making me hate you for being good at your job.
dilbert: that's not my problem.
employee: oh, it will be. it will be.
dilbert: was i suppose to hear that?
Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."
Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar Dogbert says, "Losers sell to customers." Dogbert says, "Winners sell the idea of low quota levels to their own bosses." Dogbert says, "Now everyone do the cha-ching dance!" Dogbert's Sales Training Seminar
Catbert: Oh no! Employee job satisfaction is at an all-time low at the same time unemployment is high! Boss: Ha ha! Good one. Now it's my turn to try saying it as if I care! Oh no! Catbert: Ha ha! Fix your lips!
Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.
Boss: We're abandoning our low-margin lines of business and going into a whole new field. Dilbert: So... we'll be like a high-risk start-up company burdened with lumbering inefficiencies and a high cost structure? Boss: Was anything you said the same as buy-in?
Dogbert says to a rat, "If you're going to live here, you need a name." The rat asks, "How about 'Mickey?'" Dogbert replies, "No . . . Big trouble. How about 'Rodney the Rodent?'" The rat asks, "How about 'Bill the Rat?'" Dogbert asks, "Vernon the Vermin?" The rat says, "Ratbert."
