Lower Costs Comic Strips
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155 Results for Lower Costs
View 1 - 10 results for lower costs comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Costs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 28,
2001
Tags #lower costs, #retirement package, #smart employees, #rewrite mission statement, #fit better, #retired by now
Transcript
Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "First, we'll lower costs by offering a retirement package that induces all the smart employees to leave." The Boss continues, "Then we'll rewrite our mission statement to make it fit better." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Our new mission statement is, 'If you can read this you should have retired by now." Dogbert replies, "Ouch."
Thursday December 02,
2004
Tags #financial troll, #demands lower prices, #shopping, #walgetco
Transcript
Financial troll: "Every time we cut costs, our distributor, Walgetco, takes the gain by demanding lower prices." The Boss: "Thank you for shopping at Walgetco! Have a nice day!" Financial Troll "Maybe it's too late." The boss: "Troll accessories are on aisle six!"
Tuesday October 23,
2018
Award For Cutting Costs
Tags #ceo, #award, #cutting, #costs, #department, #underfunded, #losers, #awards, #help
Transcript
CEO: I am proud to give you this award for cutting costs more than any other department. Dilbert: All of our projects failed because they are underfunded. CEO: How do you put up with these losers? The Boss: The awards help.
Wednesday May 11,
2011
Tags #computer software, #internet & world wide web, #coding, #paywall, #website, #wrote script, #new content, #idea to eliminate, #revenue, #lowered costs, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you finish coding the paywall for our website? Wally: I did something better. I wrote a script to delete any new content as soon as it's posted. At bonus time, keep in mind that you're the one who had the idea to eliminate revenue, and I'm the one who lowered hosting costs.
Sunday March 13,
2011
Tags #costs compared to alternatives, #doing nothing, #expensive plan, #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I can't sign off on this plan. It's too expensive." Man says, "You heard me say that doing nothing will end up costing you twice as much, right?" The Boss says, "Yes." Man says, "And you understand that this is your only alternative?" The Boss says, "I have another meeting. Maybe Dilbert can explain it to you." Dilbert says, "Um... okay. I'll try." Dilbert says, "My boss doesn't understand that costs should be compared to alternatives." Dilbert says, "Oh." Dilbert says, "Teamwork means you can't pick the side that's right."
Thursday November 10,
2011
Tags #employees, #executives, #busy converting, #lower morle, #stirring up trouble, #departments, #undercommunicating, #business
Transcript
Carol: He's busy converting everything you did this year into a complete waste of time. After that, he's scheduled to lower our morale. Then he'll be stirring up trouble in other departments. Dilbert: How's tomorrow look? Carol: He'll be under-communicating all day.
Tuesday January 08,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #trapped, #dog's, #body, #operation, #electrolysis, #costs
Transcript
Dilbert and a dog in a dress sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks, "That is absolutely the LAST blind date." Judy says, ". . . Then I realized . . ." Judy continues, "I'm a woman trapped in a dog's body . . . So, now I'm saving for a species change operation." Dilbert asks, "Is it expensive?" Judy replies, "Well, you can imagine the electrolysis costs alone."
Saturday November 16,
1991
Tags #exercise, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #joined, #bowling, #league, #yikes, #lower middle class, #muscle, #little arm
Transcript
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bowling ball in a case. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I joined a bowling league." Dogbert's ears fly up in surprise and he says, "Yikes! We've become lower middle-class!" Dilbert says, "Don't be ridiculous. Bowling is good exercise. I'm doing it to build muscle tone." At the bowling alley, Dilbert sees three men who have one huge arm and one little arm. One of the men says, "Hey! 'Little Arm.'"
Friday January 17,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #prisoners, #warden, #jail, #profitable, #executed, #costs, #joke of the day, #program
Transcript
Dogbert uses a megaphone to address several men in bathrobes and slippers. Dogbert says, "Attention, prisoners! This is Warden Dogbert speaking!" Dogbert continues, "My jail has not been profitable. I've decided to have you all executed to reduce operating costs." Dogbert walks away thinking, "The 'Joke of the Day' program seems wasted on these people."
Wednesday April 21,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #engineering, #careers, #cubicle, #restroom, #lower, #electromagnetic fields, #office, #equipment, #killing
Transcript
Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.